The mistake you make when evaluating monogamy?
You always look at things in the short run.
Looked at that way?
New Relationship Energy (NRE).
When you first “fall in love” and experience attraction you can’t go wrong if you want to. Nothing about your partner or anything they do will phase you because you’re “in love” with them.
That is just code for “attracted.”
It’s also known as the honeymoon phase.
It lasts from 6 months to 3 years on average.
During that time?
When will you find yourself most amenable to my views on all this? When you are recently coming off a failed monogamous relationship.
When that’s the case?
What I’m saying is OBVIOUS.
It’s hard to deny it while you’re still wincing.
When you’re still feeling the blow of yet another relationship failure?
It tends to make you an unbeliever.
Unbeliever in monogamy that is.
But you don’t have to worry that this evidence will long disturb your faith. Meet someone new who arouses “love” again and you’ll soon be back in the congregation!
I’ve seen this over and over.
You’re considering Romantic Friendships a viable option.
But then you falter.
Is this because the statistics I share here have changed?
Of course not.
All that’s changed is your FEELINGS.
Once NRE has you in its grips again?
You again feel YOUR situation will be different.
What you have to come to see is that feelings aren’t facts. What you are feeling right now unfortunately does not accurately reflect reality.
It’s just your biology talking.
Your societal programming.
Give it time…6 months to 3 years approximately?
Then you will be back to agreeing with me.
Wondering what on earth you were thinking!
How you could ever have doubted me?
This is why serial monogamy is the last great modern hold out. You are destined to cycle again and again through this failed relationships pattern.
How do you get off this cycle?
You have to recognize it.
See that monogamy always works in the short run.
Tell yourself this the next time you’re feeling NRE.
When you find yourself saying, “Oh this time is different!”
No it’s not.
It’s always the same.
You just have to finally accept this.
How about you? Can you talk yourself through the temptation to believe in monogamy and stop being led about by your emotions?