But so is going to the gym.
Or heading out in nature.
Or anything else really.
You just pick your favorite “poison” when you do.
As long as what you’re doing is to try to avoid the feelings you’re feeling? That thing you’re choosing to do right now is a coping mechanism.
When I speak with you guys?
You often talk as if masturbataion is your problem.
If only you could quit doing that?
Then your life would be okay.
Of course I know a lot of you guys masturbate precisely because you’re aggitated. Since that’s the case if you quit using porn, and I can help you with that, it likely means you’re figuring things out.
The mistake you make though?
You don’t recognize porn is just a symptom.
The real issue?
It’s not being okay with your negative feelings when they hit.
Whether it is boredom or anxiety or just an odd feeling of restlesness? Porn is very effective in making those feelings go away.
Unfortunately?
Just like any fix?
The solution is only temporary.
Pretty soon those feelings are back.
Along with your sense of failure then.
You feel like a failure when you masturbate to porn not because masturbating makes you a failure. It just emphasizes to you that you’re not exercising SELF-CONTROL.
The reason you can’t control yourself?
You’re not okay with feeling negative.
Negative feelings are a part of life.
You’re not supposed to numb them away.
The real solution is to sit with them and let them work their way through your body. Once you see they won’t hurt you then you begin to be okay with them when they come and go.
Once you learn this?
Porn is no big deal then.
You can take it or you can leave it.
Use it to relieve your horniness when you like.
Even share it with one of your romantic friends.
What do you think? Is it really porn or masturbation that’s the issue or do you just need to learn to be okay when you’re feeling negative in some way?
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