I know what you’re thinking.

How can I possibly claim this?

What do all your relationship coaches tell you?

Love is all ABOUT compromise.

They tell you if you hope to live with anybody long term, you are going to have to come to grips with this reality. If your philosophy is, “My way or the highway,” it will ultimately result in the death of your love.

So where do I get off then?

Telling you the exact opposite?

This quest of mine for “contrariness?”

Will it ever end?

But you probably didn’t notice the “bait and switch” your coaches used right there in that sentence. What they said was, “if you hope to live with anybody long term.” Living with someone is NOT about love.

If you live with anyone at all?

Of course it will require compromising.

And if you add to that “building a life together?”

It will really become a mess.

But as I told you right from the start, romantic love is about valuing your partner. It’s not about finding someone you can live “happily ever after” with.

If I value you then I value who you ARE.

I don’t try to change you.

If there’s something I like but you don’t like?

I’ll never try to force you to embrace it.

But doesn’t this mean I’m telling you to compromise? Not at all! There are plenty of things you can share together, without it ever requiring you to do that.

What you do when you’re truly in love?

You focus on what you have in common.

You don’t take turns sacrificing.

You just do something you BOTH want.

But as always, the key to being able to love like this, is you’re NOT living together. By living apart, you won’t experience all those quite necessary compromises living together brings.

When you enjoy Romantic Friendships?

Your focus is all about what you value in each other.

When you get together to share yourselves?

It’s primarily to appreciate and experience this!

So what do you think now? Does love really require of you that you constantly be compromising, or have you once again been confusing love with something else?