What you girls call “chemistry.”
Or how you “just know” he’s a keeper.
Like how my long term partner “just knew.”
Until she said, “You’ve pushed me away for years!”
You are amazingly intuitive creatures I know but when it comes to your love life? You are driven not by insight but by total fantasy and delusion in a way guys never are.
Guys have their own problems of course.
They tend to think too much with their lower head.
But you girls take things to a whole other level.
You’ve got your whole life mapped in an instance.
Where you’ll live.
How many kids you’ll have.
Whether you’ll vacation in Palm Springs or Hawaii.
Of course the parallel phrase to “love at first sight” is the famous saying that “love is BLIND.”
That one you can bet on.
“Love at first sight” though?
You’ll go broke if you put your money down.
But you girls are right about one thing here.
Chemistry does has everything to do with it.
When you “fall in love” dopamine is flooding your brain.
Giving you every reason to see you’ve arrived at Nirvana now.
What you don’t realize is that “falling in love” is on a par with experiencing a Heroin hit. You are so doped up on that “feel good” stuff you don’t even know what you’re doing at the time.
You are just a dopamine addict.
Seeking your fix.
The difference though between you and that heroin seeker?
At least he knows what he is.
You just go merrily on your way.
Thinking what you are experiencing is right.
This is how love is supposed to be.
The sad thing is I daresay you’ve been here before and will likely be here again and again. In fact you’ll continue to come to this place until the day you finally truly see.
See that love IS blind.
Blind as a bat actually!
Your intuition about this person is mistaken.
You cannot “just know” he’s Mr Right.
Until you’ve seen him warts and all?
The information you’re working with is skewed.
The real solution to “love is blind” is slow down and take your time. Do what people used to do back before dating was all about rushing and hooking up.
Kissing and sex happened farther down the road.
A guy who was worth it was willing to wait for you.
A girl didn’t rush into getting physical with a guy.
Thinking somehow that would get him to “commit.”
All you’re doing when you do that?
You’re locking yourself in emotionally.
I know this because a pickup artist coach I worked with actually calls having sex with you “lock in.” If he can get you to have sex with him twice he knows you will think of him as “your guy.”
He knows how your dopamine addiction works.
Once he’s got you where he wants you?
Then he decides how to classify you.
What role you will have in his life.
How do you like the sound of that?
Here you are thinking if you just have sex with him he’ll see what a catch you are and come to desire you. But really he’s just making you desire HIM so he can figure out what he wants to do with you.
I’m telling you girls.
“Love at first sight?”
It’s the worst thing you can go by.
“Love is blind” should be your permanent motto.
Until you really know who he is.
Real romantic love is valuing each other and wanting to share yourselves because of this.
Until you both get there?
You don’t actually see a thing.
No matter what you’re intuition tells you.
So what do you say girls? Are you willing to admit you’ve experienced “love at first sight” before only to find out later you were totally blind about it?