The article I shared in Part 2?
It referenced another great Pschology Today article.
This one deals with a similar theme.
The article starts out admitting that friendship and romance have an awful lot in common. Because of this the author says, it’s hard to judge between the two of them.
Of course what I believe that shows?
This is an illegitimate dichotomy.
Friendship is the foundation of love.
You should just upgrade your platonic friends!
But the author disagrees with this, and insists you still have to decide between them. She thinks you need to discern whether your feelings are “truly romantic,” or your relationship will “thrive best as a platonic friendship.”
What things does she think romance and friendship share?
Attraction and even intimacy.
They also share respect and support.
And pleasure too.
If you’re confused at this point you’re not alone, because it’s getting very hard to tell the difference. If romance and friendship share all these things, aren’t they almost the same thing after all?
One difference the author suggests is sex.
Heaven forbid you should enjoy sex in your friendships!
But shared goals and commitment and interdependence?
I agree with her, friends don’t normally share these things.
Of course, if you’ve hung out here long enough, you can see the “bait and switch” that just happened. She’s not talking about romance anymore, she’s talking about the requirements of traditional committed monogamy.
Planning your life together?
Romantic love requires none of that.
Not unless you’re following your biology.
But I taught you long ago that you need to be smarter than your DNA, didn’t I? And once you recognize this, you can see this author is actually agreeing with me.
Minus the “non-essentials” she lists?
She is indeed affirming the harmony of love with friendship.
Romantic Friendships really are ALL you need for love.
Feel free to skip the rest, and maintain your independence!
What do you think? Is there any way at all that love and friendship don’t mix once you quit confusing love with monogamy, and given this isn’t it time you took Romantic Friendships for a spin?
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