“That sounds pretty contrived,” she said.
We were talking about Romantic Friendships.
When I suggested a once per week meetup frequency was good?
She thought this sounded artificial and “un-spontaneous.”
When she questioned the idea of “structure,” I found myself wondering whether she felt that way in her monogamous relationships? Did this mean the idea of “date nights” would be out for them as well?
Truth be told, when it comes to love?
You definitely need some structure.
If you leave it up to happening when it happens?
It ends up not happening at all!
Structuring things is not just a matter of making sure the two of you frequently get together. It is just as important that you structure things, so you don’t see each other too much.
Yes I know.
Why wouldn’t you want to ALWAYS be together?
Checked out those monogamy statistics lately?
That should tell you what’s up with that.
When I say getting together once a week is a good rhythm for your romantic friendships, that time you share could last anywhere from a few hours to a few days, depending on what you both want.
I’m not talking about rules here.
You can do things however you wish.
But the more you allow time to miss each other?
The more you’ll really be eager to see each other again.
The time that you are not together, can be spent doing whatever else your life consists of. If you’re like me, you may even want to fill that time enjoying connection with other romantic friends.
The point is, what you always want to do?
It’s to work WITH your romantic psychology.
You always appreciate what you don’t have.
You always take for granted what you do.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but familiarity breeds contempt.” “Love is in the the wanting and desiring, and never in the having,” so it’s said.
Think what I’m saying is crazy?
Try it on before you knock it!
Want to always keep your love alive?
See if what I’m saying doesn’t help you to!
What do you think? Is it really so “contrived” to think that meeting up with your lover once per week is sufficient, or do you just need to open up your little monogamy programmed mind once again?
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