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It’s You Who Changed The Deal

When you first met you couldn’t get enough of him.

He could do no wrong.

You hung on everything he said.

You tried to get with him every time you could.

In other words…you were “in love.”

This is one of the most dangerous times you can experience in your relationship. It is the phase when the saying is completely true that “love is BLIND.”

The hard part is this phase can for months.

Sometimes even years.

You get so far down the track?

Your partner thinks you really love him.

And you think you really love him too.

But in truth?

You are not loving HIM at all.

You’re just loving the way he makes YOU feel.

And that right there is the ultimate death knoll of your love. Because no matter how good your partner makes you feel, eventually he’ll make you feel bad as well.

Nobody is perfect enough to make you feel good all the time.

When they don’t?

You’ll finally learn what real love is all about.

Because real romantic love?

It isn’t about all those fuzzy feelings you’re enamored with.

It is about really valuing your partner.

For who he actually IS.


Warts and all.

When you hit this point where the glitter fades and the real frog you thought was your prince finally arrives? You are likely to change the way you interact with him and then insist it is him who changed.

But if he is like most guys?

He hasn’t really changed.

You’re just noticing his imperfections now.

If he wasn’t all distant and avoidant before?

He probably is still just loving you.

Completely oblivious to what’s gone wrong.

And as long as you think it is him who changed?

You’re not going to get anywhere.

Your frustrations will only grow.

You see the old adage is that a guy marries a girl hoping she will never change. A girl marries a guy completely expecting that her love will change him forever.


Total Disney there.

As you know?

I don’t recommend marriage.

Or monogamy for that matter.

If you insist on it?

I highly recommend you “live apart together.”

All of the things I tell you here?

They are about keeping your love alive.

That’s why I think Romantic Friendships are the very BEST way to go.

But one thing I cannot guard you from is your own Disney fantasies of how your guy should be. If you abandon the real guy you’re with and start wanting him to be something else all bets are off I’m afraid.

YOU changed the deal.

Not him.

He’s still there just loving you like he always did.

Always will.

If you’ll let him.

You need to push back on those silly fantasies of yours and get back to being the cool girl in his life again. If you’ll return to embracing the real flesh and blood guy before you, you can have him in your life forever and he’ll be happy to be with you.


I’m afraid that saying isn’t true.

“All that glitters is gold.”

In actual fact when it comes to love?

Most of the glittery stuff is just fools gold my dear.

What do you think girls? Did he really change and become someone else or is it actually you who changed the deal on him?

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