No it’s not my goal to turn you into a “slut.”
Or make you do things your mother would be shocked by.
But the #metoo movement makes it perfectly clear.
Sexual prudishness is still quite a thing.
The conflicts you girls have over your sexuality can be quite the spectacle to behold. It’s no wonder guys are constantly stepping on your toes making you feel they’ve gone TOO FAR.
They are so much more relaxed with their sexuality than you.
A recent Pscyhology Today article backs me up on this.
It takes a look at how you feel about porn.
Observes your experiences watching the stuff.
Summarizes studies done between 1999 and 2016.
There are a couple of worthwhile things of note.
The first is you are definitely what we might call more empathetic pornography viewers. This means you actually experience empathy for the performers.
I experienced this a bit when I kicked my porn addiction too.
I started wondering what the girl was like I was viewing.
But you girls take this to a totally next level.
You watch facial expressions.
Notice if performers are experiencing real pleasure.
Whether the activity is less enjoyable or unpleasant for the actors.
According to the study, your perception of the actor’s enjoyment impacts your ability to experience arousal. If the scene is unrealistic in any way you experience much less pleasure viewing it.
In a way I understand this too.
What used to bother me for years?
The way porn stars (mostly the girls) would look at the camera.
That would be like Hollywood actors looking at the camera while saying their lines.
You don’t want to watch someone “acting out” sex.
You want it to fell like they are actually experiencing it.
And really enjoying it too.
Another big one for you girls is you internalize porn and start comparing your body to the performers. This makes you more or less secure, depending on how you feel you size up to the competition.
Nothing new here.
You do this all the time anyway.
With all the other girls that surround you.
Your mileage also may vary when you’re sharing porn.
Viewing it with your partner?
Some of you get aroused and even use it for tips.
It helps you pleasure your partner more creatively.
Others of you feel insecure yet again.
That your partner would experience arousal for someone else.
And last but not least let’s not forget about guilt and the cognitive dissonance you often feel when you view it. Like a lot of guys you actually enjoy watching porn but you’re still unconvinced that you should be enjoying it.
Yes you experience arousal indeed.
But you think this is not socially acceptable.
There is still a lot of stigma surrounding this idea.
What idea is that?
That of you as a GIRL liking sex.
Heaven forbid you decide to be a porn star yourself.
Show that you really enjoy it that much!
So what should you take away from all of this? How should you feel about porn and sex in your life as a girl in the 21st Century?
I think the best thing you can do is learn to lighten up
Realize there is nothing dirty about your female sexuality.
Anywhere you find yourself feeling insecure?
That’s a place to dig deeper and find freedom as well.
Sexual fulfillment is half of what romantic love is.
Move toward it and embrace your sexuality now.
What do you think? Is it time to lighten up and start enjoying being the sensitive sexual being you are and break free of your sexual prudishness once and for all?
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