Are you a girl who wants to be needed?
Is it important to you that you can really be there for your partner?
Lift him up in his time of trial?
If this is you then you should ask yourself a question.
Why is that?
Do you NEED to feel needed?
You may not realize it but often when you have the desire to be there for someone else or help them, what you’re really doing deep down is trying to convince yourself you’re really worthwhile.
Because you aren’t convinced you are?
You’re seeking VALIDATION.
If your partner needs you then you must be okay.
You have a place in life.
A place in SOMEONE’S life.
That same thing goes for feeling useful.
A lot of you guys fall into this one too.
You feel like if you’re not being productive and accomplishing something significant? You’re not a “real man” and you’re not worthy of respect.
Respect is a tricky subject too.
Respect from who?
If you are wanting respect from others?
You’ve got that needy thing going on.
Because the only person whose respect you should want?
It’s the person in the mirror.
If you’re seeking respect from anyone else?
It’s because you don’t have respect from YOU.
There’s something you might not notice here, unless you’re paying close attention. This neediness on both your parts is just your natural addictions coming through.
You girls are addicted to being “swept of your feet” by a guy who thinks you’re the bomb.
You guys feel the need to attract a girl by being “that guy” she thinks is that.
Then she’ll let you in her pants.
Nature taps into your natural weakness.
Uses that to get its job done.
If you really want to make it to the big leagues in love?
You’ve got to make it past this first round.
What you really should want is not to be needed or respected. Instead you should desire to really be wanted for who you ARE, not what you do to try to make yourself worthy.
When you are totally comfortable in your own skin?
Your love life will change completely.
If you need to be needed how can a guy really want you?
If you need to be respected how can a girl really want you either?
Wanting but not needing someone is the outcome of being yourself and being okay being alone. When you’ve done the inside work the outside result is just a matter of time.
When a guy sees you don’t need him?
He’ll will really want you.
Because then he knows you want him FOR HIM, and not just to feed your need.
When a girl sees you don’t need anybody else’s respect?
She’ll respect you and want you too.
She’ll know that you’re safe to be with because she’s not just a trophy to feed your need.
It’s the biggest paradox of love that what you try to hold onto evades you. It is only when you can love with an open hand without needing anything from anyone else, that your partner will want you and desire to stay.
So the next time you think is would be nice to be needed?
Do a double take and look at yourself.
Why are you feeling that way?
What does it really mean?
Are you still thinking you need someone else to make you worthwhile or make you feel important?
To perform to impress a girl or your bros?
Look inside yourself and identify that lack.
Be your own competition instead..
So how about you? Do you think it’s important to be needed or respected or do you think that you’re ready now to head to round two?