I was reflecting last night.
Wondering why I don’t write more about how to DO relationships.
I don’t spend my time giving you tips about this or that.
It’s not that I’ve never done anything like that.
I just don’t do it very often.
As I reflected on this I realized the reason I don’t is because I just don’t find love that difficult. The most difficult part about love is learning to get YOURSELF out of the way.
A primary reason your love fails?
You have too many EXPECTATIONS.
You think your partner is there to meet your needs.
You think love should be a certain way.
That your lover should DO certain things.
Cool Girl and I have had a relationship now for about two and a half years and I can count the number of challenges we’ve had on just one of my hands.
I really am serious when I say our love is easy.
And we both find it to be this way.
But the reason we do?
We just don’t EXPECT anything of each other.
As long as we both continue to value being together?
We’re happy to spend our time sharing our love.
Those challenges I mentioned were the very few times when one of us failed to let the other be who they are in some way. We slipped up for a bit and let our egos get in the way.
Love is valuing each other for who we are.
There’s no place in that for egos.
If there is anything we desire the other isn’t able to give?
We can go find that with someone else.
If you’re not polyamorous you won’t get that of course.
You’ll think that sounds totally awful.
But you know what is REALLY awful?
Trying to MAKE somebody be something they’re not.
Cool Girl and I love each other with an open hand so the only thing we EXPECT from each other is that we keep valuing being together like we are.
If that stops being the case with the person you love?
Why would you want to stay together?
What would be the point?
Commitment to something that isn’t really there?
That’s a formula for DISASTER!
Once you realize that love is only about valuing being together and sharing yourselves with each other, how you “do” love becomes completely irrelevant because you just do it the way you DO.
There are no how tos about being in love.
It isn’t about doing.
It is all about just BEING.
Being together and sharing with each other.
Finding contentment in your connection.
And that’s what I can say Cool Girl and I have.
A relationship that is very contentful and simple and nice.
One that nourishes both of our lives.
And as long as it does?
We’ll keep sharing ourselves with each other this way.
What do you think? Do you think you could stop expecting anything from your partner and get yourself out of the way so you can just be content in what they offer instead?