In Part 1 I made a startling suggestion.
It’s not your partner’s job to meet your needs.
The only reason to be with your partner?
You value them for who THEY are.
But isn’t that what meeting your needs does?
Make you value them for who they are?
When you’ve been with your partner for a long time you can start to think you value them because of the needs they meet for you. Of course when your partner meets one of your needs you do value them for that too.
This is one of the biggest dangers though.
It will destroy romantic love if you let it.
When your partner values you for who you are?
They start to love to meet your needs naturally.
At first when they do this you feel really loved.
It’s so clear they are valuing you.
But then you slowly start to assume upon this.
Start to believe you’re entitled to what they’re doing.
When this happens suddenly you’re not loving your partner anymore. You’re valuing them for what you can GET from them.
But that’s not the way things started out.
When you first got together don’t you remember?
Weren’t you so enthralled by who they were?
Even before they did anything particularly for you?
You loved the way he carried himself.
Or the way she laughed and the energy she displayed.
When you fell in love with each other it was because you saw something you really desired in your life. You couldn’t get enough of being together and it had nothing to do with any needs you thought you deserved to have met by each other.
So what changed?
Over time you both started to take each other FOR GRANTED.
Not for granted so you stopped meeting each other’s needs.
For granted by thinking you had a right to having those met.
Instead of being grateful for everything you receive from your partner?
Now you look at it as somehow your DUE.
Now if your partner stops meeting a need?
For whatever reason?
You think something’s is wrong.
You were taking care of your own needs long before your partner ever came a long. Why did you suddenly change the deal so you expect what you never expected at the beginning?
Loving each other is easy.
Something you can do again today.
You just have to get your eyes off of what you think you need.
Start valuing your partner again like you did at the start.
At that time you loved them “no strings attached.”
Find THAT energy between you again?
Love will come back again too I promise!
What do you think? When you first met your partner did you love them for what they did for you or did you just want them because you loved them?