Well here it is at last.
I am about to answer the question.
One that so many of you have asked me.
Given everything I tell you here?
It’s a question you should be asking too.
One of the harder pills I prescribe is I highly recommend you think twice about having children. That is if you want even a fighting chance of keeping your love for each other alive.
Wait a minute Kel?
Aren’t kids the WHOLE point?
No they are not.
They have nothing to do with your love life.
I’m not saying you won’t love your kids of course but you have to recognize in the process they will break down your relationship.
The point is THEY become the point.
And they actually should.
They deserve your full attention.
But just like all the other “cares of this life?”
They are going to choke out your love.
So the obvious question then is what SHOULD you do about children?
My recommendation about kids is you have them with someone you’re not in love with. Find someone who shares your desire for a family and make that the point of being together with them.
Make the KIDS the point.
You don’t need to be in love with each other to raise those critters!
Respect each other as parents yes.
But being in love is simply not in the cards if you do this.
You may think this is completely ridiculous but that’s because you haven’t been paying attention. All I’m saying is to start your relationship the way statistically it will end up from parenting anyway.
We know parents fall out of love.
Then they think they need to separate.
Wouldn’t it be great to just start out that way?
Then your kids won’t end coming from a broken home.
Instead they can grow up healthy experiencing both of their parents!
Does this mean you do without romantic love in your life? Not at all! You just configure your love life differently. You have your lovers outside your relationship that is ONLY about raising a family.
This is the way marriage was done for centuries.
Romantic love almost always occurred outside the marital bond.
In affairs and with mistresses.
Today of course patriarchy is passe so you both can have other lovers. What I’m suggesting makes way more sense than thinking you’ll marry and stay in love.
Romantic Friendships give you the best of both worlds.
You get to raise healthy kids.
You get to be in love.
You avoid the baggage of trying to combine the two!
What do you think? Is it better to start a family deluded you’ll remain in love with each other or just start out as friendly partners and make your kids the point?