“I can’t just jump into a relationship with a stranger.”
When she said this I was encouraged.
It’s so rare to meet a girl who thinks like this.
Since she already seemed on the right track?
I decided to have some fun kidding her.
“Awe come on! As long as you felt ‘that spark,’ isn’t that what matters?” Since she had said what she just said, I assumed she would just laugh in agreement.
“I sadly never feel a spark,” she told me.
“Sad?” I thought.
“That’s a really GOOD thing.”
So I decided to to further encourage her.
“I think the ‘spark’ is completely overrated. Love is about valuing someone for who they are, and wanting to share ourselves with them because of this.” But at this point the conversation totally shifted.
“I want to at least be excited.” she replied.
“Be looking forward to spending time together.”
“Instead, I always feel like I would rather be alone.”
I was definitely beginning to feel for her.
I continued to try to enlighten her now. “We don’t need to be excited to value the person. We just need to have a warm affection for them. That’s quite enough to keep things going.” I responded.
Did she take encouragement at all?
I wish I could report in the affirmative.
Instead, now she doubled down.
“I guess not for me,” she disagreed.
” I want to actually feel excited.”
And that dear girls is why you FAIL. Because love has nothing at all to do with excitement. Of course, when you’re in love there will be those times, but for the most part love feels pretty “normal.”
When what you’re looking for is “that spark?”
You’re setting yourself up for disaster.
The kind of guy who gets you excited all the time?
He’s the guy who is going to “love you and leave you.”
You have to learn to be smarter than your DNA, and recognize this desire of yours is just your reproductive biology talking. It wants to get you into bed with that guy, so you can fulfill Nature’s prerogative.
Love isn’t about “excitement” or “thrill.”
It is about really connecting with your partner.
Coming to love them “warts and all.”
Do THAT, and love will not disappoint you.
What do you say girls? Is it really necessary to feel “that spark” and have a love that really “thrills” you, or are you better off opting for a love that’s real even though it comes in a less exciting package?
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