“Kel is speaking from a position of personal philosophy,” she wrote.
She was commenting on a reply I’d just given.
Another girl was saying she felt eventually in a relationship?
You should indeed be able to have expectations.
Before this, I had expressed my view that your partner doesn’t owe you anything. That anything you receive from them is a gift that flows from them choosing to share themselves with you.
The girl I was replying to had disagreed.
“It is reasonable to rely on a partner,” she countered.
“It’s not always a ‘gift’ in the way we should never expect support.”
“In a healthy relationship…you come to rely on your partner.”
I had replied, “We’re encroaching upon the central challenge of traditional monogamy, and why it fails very much more often than it doesn’t. It tries to take what must forever be a voluntary gift, and seeks to turn it into something we can be demanding.”
“If I feel I have the right to require anything from my partner?” I said
“I’m not talking about love, but something completely other.”
“Commitment and all its accouterments is just a grand illusion.”
“It can no more guarantee love, than if we held a gun up to our partner’s head.”
I finished by saying, “Love is a gift and will always be. We either receive it with gratitude, or we turn on it and begin to destroy it! This is why I’m not personally monogamous any more, and just seek to enjoy love without ‘the baggage.’”
But as usual, the first girl couldn’t handle this.
She had to jump in and make the “correction.”
What I was saying might be totally valid for ME.
But I wasn’t describing the OBJECTIVE situation.
As you should know by now, this is a common response. It comes whenever I begin to share about what is actually TRUE about relationships and monogamy.
“That’s just KEL’S thing!”
“It has nothing to do with me.”
“It’s just his preference!”
Of course what they fail to see is whenever I talk about this, I never discuss it from the standpoint of my personal experience. I only share what we ALL know to be so, from the actual recorded statistics.
And what do we know?
Monogamy doesn’t work!
If you ignore what I’m telling you here?
You do so to your own detriment!
What do you think? Will you continue to try to convince yourself what I’m saying here all the time is only my preference, or will you finally recognize that preferring monogamy will not change the results you’re going to be experiencing?
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