“It’s okay to have only one partner.”

So says polyamorous relationship coach Michael Author.

“This is why so many monogamous people follow me.”

“Because I say this: It’s not better to have more than one partner.”

And the way he’s phrased this I totally agree with him. To me polyamory is and always has been about being open to love and not collecting partners.

He continues, “You’re not less evolved because you want to stick with one person.”

“You only have one life.”

“Go for the shit that lights you up and makes your heart sing.”

“If that’s one person, do it.

“If that’s 1.5 people, do it.”

“If it’s just you, DO it”

This is where I sort of part ways with Michael though because I don’t believe relationship style is just about preference. While I respect everyone’s right to find their own way? The way you choose does objectively make a difference.

If as Michael says?

Your poly community feels, “Meh?”

That may not just be how you feel.

There may be objective reasons for it.

Not all polyamory approaches are the same just like there are definite reasons to question monogamy. If you take the approach that whatever you want goes? You could end up regretting your choice in the long run.

This is why I’ve told you I’m not into polyamory.

I’m into romantic love and Romantic Friendships.

Everything I do and say on this blog?

It is what will make love itself flourish that directs this.

So while like Michael I find myself less poly than many but also more than some? There’s a reason I’ve been accused of really wanting monogamy. Romantic Friendships are monogamy-like.”

When it comes to love?

Your lovestyle really is the key.

Get this wrong?

Everything else goes wrong with it.

As Michael says, “for the love of anything holy don’t think you’re better than anyone else because you made it.” While this is true it is also true that sometimes the reason you “make it” is you’ve actually found a better way of getting there.

The way I see it?

That way is Romantic Friendships.

They give you all the pluses of being in love.

Without all the baggage that creates the negative.

What do you think? Is the point really whether it is better to be monogamous or polyamorous or is the point what is most conducive to romantic love?