“Women need men.”
“And men need women to need them.”
“This isn’t a wound.”
“People who believe it’s a wound…are the wounded ones.”
As I read these statements by “extreme polarity” coach Zak Roedde, I was reminded of a blog post I wrote a long time ago. How the advice you girls are given these days, is to throw that poor little puppy dog male of yours a bone.
And why did I put it like this back then?
Because in today’s day and age, you just DON’T need him.
Despite your outdated biological and societal programming?
You no longer need a guy to take care of you.
But far from considering this to be a plus, Zak is completely convinced it is a huge problem. Because Nature has wired you to want a provider, and wired a guy to want to be one? You’ll be totally messed up if you don’t drive your love life there, to meet these “needs” of yours.
Instead, what Zak thinks you “really” want?
It’s his extreme form of interdependency.
You need to be dependent on a guy.
Why?
Because deep down, you need him to be needed by you as well.
Apparently for all his talk about “masculine men,” Zak’s boys can’t handle a girl who has her own act together. Unless you’re dependent on needing your guy, he’s going to feel emasculated by you.
All this alleged interdependence of course?
It literally WREAKS of codependence.
Needing a girl to need you?
That’s as codependent as it comes!
And here we thought it was the GIRLS who embody neediness!
What a truly “masculine man” is, is someone who is totally okay in himself without you. Just like you should be totally okay in yourself without him as well.
Once you’re both in THAT state?
That’s when you’re free to truly LOVE – not NEED – each other.
As long as you think you’re needing anything from your partner?
Your focus is always going to be on that.
Not on SHARING yourself with them.
With Romantic Friendships you are just two complete individuals, who choose to share a romantic connection. You value each other for who you are, and not for anything you can GET from each other.
The foundation of your love?
It is the fact you are both totally outcome INDEPENDENT.
With no need for interdependence’s covert codependence?
You are fee to just be yourselves, and love each other for that!
What do you think? Is a guy needing you to need him a healthy state that you should be embracing, or despite all denials to the contrary from the polarity crowd, is it actually the epitome of emotional woundedness?
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