In Part 3 I introduced you to a strategy.
One to master your dating life as a girl.
I called it the BAD ASS strategy.
How to make yourself a “fearless alpha female.”
This philosophy is based on an article about online dating.
Why this strategy doesn’t work?
It is predicated on being HARD TO HANDLE.
Do that and no guy is gonna be attracted to you.
Point 5 of the article says you should want all or nothing. You shouldn’t “wait around for commitment.” You should only spend your time with a guy who’s all in. You don’t need any more FRIENDS.
Once again the label “girl with an agenda” rings true.
He should want you because YOU have YOUR principles.
You don’t want any “almost” relationships.
Don’t let him “string you along.”
Be up front about what you’re looking for.
Oh yes.
This is exactly what a guy WANTS from you.
That you treat your dating life like a BUSINESS transaction!
Ever heard of having fun?
Romantic love?
Connection?
Oh right…none of that is actually on the agenda with you!
Point 6 is to be BRUTALLY HONEST. Don’t avoid difficult conversations. Say whatever you need to say – good or bad. Never stay silent and just hope those feelings disappear.
Obviously this one needs a bit of nuancing.
It’s totally right you should be true to your feelings.
But BRUTALLY honest?
Gotta watch that part.
There are ways to approach things a bit more diplomatically.
Point 7 is something I heartily agree with.
You should handle “whatever life throws your way.” You’ll be ghosted, cheated on, lied to because some guys are “assholes” and that’s just the way things are.
That doesn’t mean you should become jaded though.
Start to distrust EVERY guy you encounter.
If you dwell on your past disasters like that?
You’re just a girl with BAGGAGE.
Not one who’s cool.
Each guy you meet is a unique individual.
That last guy who messed you up is irrelevant.
Approach each relationship with the benefit of the doubt.
Guys are NOT predators until proven innocent.
Point 8 is that you “shouldn’t care what anyone else thinks of you.” You should be “comforable in your own skin.” “Do what you want.” If someone like’s you great. If not that should not phase you a bit.
Again I’m in pretty complete agreement with this.
I’ve said as much myself.
But I don’t consider this “bad ass” at all.
It’s just a healthy self love you’re embodying.
Only when you love yourself can you truly love others.
But when you have this sense of completeness?
You’re not policing people to see if they are “worthy” of you.
Overall I’d say this article was about 40% good.
The rest you should pass on because it’s drama.
It’s not independence at all.
What do you think? Is a true “independent woman” really “bad ass” or is she just a normal person who is complete in herself?
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