People who know me today might find it hard to believe but yes…I used to be a fashion rebel!
And by rebel, I don’t mean I had my own fashion statement to make.
I didn’t make a statement at all.
The whole idea of fashion meant nothing to me.
Of course I don’t claim to be the ultimate in fashion now, but at least I have a decent sense of what’s happening.
But sadly this was not always the case.
Back in the day I was a much overweight guy who thought all “those people” were just up on themselves.
I didn’t dress good.
I didn’t care.
I thought worrying about how you looked was superficial.
I thought, “If you don’t like me for who I am, that’s your problem!”
Ah how blissful is ignorance!
You see, how you look actually is an expression of who you are.
It’s not superficial at all.
Choosing not to dress in a way that presents you attractively reflects on what you think both about yourself and about those around you.
Especially your partner.
The funny thing is, I understood this in business.
When I was in network marketing, I dressed in a business suit and presented myself professionally.
When giving IT courses as a Microsoft Certified Trainer, I represented myself tastefully in the classroom.
So why did I care about fashion there, but not in my personal life?
Because I thought I didn’t NEED to care about it there.
I already had a partner. She already loved me for who I was right? I wasn’t trying to prove myself worthy of anybody there. So I slacked off.
The first way I slacked off was with my weight.
Back then I was packing an extra 25-30 pounds.
Which meant everything I wore had to be larger.
My primary casual attire was oversized basic pants (never jeans!) and T-Shirts.
In fact back then T-Shirts were my staple souvenir when I traveled.
Nothing wrong with that per se.
But because I was over weight I always bought larger shirts that would “hide” my overweight.
But my ultimate fashion statement was a fanny pack.
Oh how embarrassing to admit this now!
Yes it’s true.
I discovered how efficient it was to carry everything with me on my waist.
I sported this fashion piece for several years until I woke up from my slumber.
Then it happened. My relationship ended and I was single again. And suddenly I cared about fashion.
Because I NEEDED to care.
When I moved to Vancouver 2 years ago I hired image consultants to show me how to dress.
Thankfully a few years prior to leaving my relationship, I already caught on to the idea that I wasn’t eating healthy.
I switched to eating predominantly vegan, and lost most of those 25-30 pounds before I arrived here at the coast.
At least I gave the image consultants something a bit easier to work with!
They showed me the kinds of pants (and jeans!) to wear.
They had me buy good looking shoes and slim fitting button up shirts.
I threw a closet full of oversized clothing away and my new life as a fashion aware person began.
But the saddest thing about my transformation was when I had a short visit with my former partner and she saw how I was dressing now.
She said to me, “Wow! I could never get you to wear jeans.”
That’s when I realized it.
All those years when I thought I didn’t HAVE TO dress fashionably, I was really just dishonoring her.
She saw how I was dressing now and wondered why I would do this for “other girls” but never would do it for her.
You see, it may not matter to you how you look and how you dress. But how you appear reflects on your partner nonetheless.
And this is VERY important for you girls to understand.
Guys are visual.
You should look your best when you’re out with your partner.
Call it shallow if you want, but a guy feels proud when he’s with a girl he feels looks really attractive.
It just makes him feel good to be with you when he sees you care about how you present yourself.
I work with introverted guys who want to learn how to meet girls.
When you work with me, I will definitely be talking to you about your attire.
I know from experience how unimportant you think this is.
You’re DEAD WRONG!
And not just because girls won’t find you as a attractive as they should.
This reflects on your self image too. In the past I didn’t honor myself. Now I do. You should too.
It goes without saying that you girls should take this area seriously.
Like it or not?
Nature has wired guys to be primarily attracted to your looks.
Yes your personality is important too.
But if a guy has a choice between a girl who looks great and also has a great personality, or one who doesn’t look great and has a great personality, which one do you think he’ll pick?
I’m not saying as a guy or a girl that you can’t land a relationship without caring about your weight or your fashion.
But I learned too late how much not caring about this area meant to my partner.
Don’t make the same mistake.
Quit being a fashion rebel and start learning to care about how you present yourself.
Do it for your partner.
Do it for yourself.
Do it now!
What do you say guys? Is it time to quit being a fashion rebel?
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