Today I want to introduce you to a new idea.
One I’ve shared with you many times implicitly.
But I think it is time to bring it out clearly now.
Hopefully you will benefit from this.
I’m sure you have often heard people say, “I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Maybe like me you’ve heard it from your own partner more than once.
The first distinction you need to learn?
It is the difference between feelings and emotions.
Feelings can be very fickle things.
Emotions are not.
You can feel bad today because you just ate a late night pizza. But after you crash and get yourself a good night’s sleep you feel better and you carry on.
Emotions on the other hand?
They are a much more settle states of being.
They don’t go up and down with the wind.
They are dependable even when your feelings are not.
Usually when you say you are not in love with someone what you mean is you are not currently experiencing loving feelings. Emotionally you may still care about them but you’re not finding your relationship much fun.
Another way you could put this?
“I care about you but you don’t excite me.”
When you put is that way though?
Something definitely starts to feel very wrong.
Part of why your love life is this ever up and down rollercoaster? You are looking for feelings of love that overwhelm you instead of recognizing what you’ve got.
What should you do instead?
Recognize your loving emotions.
These are based on what you VALUE in your partner.
Not just on how you are feeling right now.
Once you learn the difference suddenly your love for your partner becomes much more settled. You realize the fact you may not feel excited about them at this particular moment isn’t a problem at all.
This is what being in love really is.
It is a state of loving BEING.
When you love your partner in this more settled emotional way?
Your relationship will weather your ever changing feeling storms.
What do you think? Is it really the case that you are not in love with your partner or have you just been confusing your shifting feelings for how you deeply feel about them after all?
Like what you’re reading? Sign up!