She said this because we were talking about polyamory.

We were really connecting.

When that happens with a girl?

I’m very quick to make sure she understands me.

Polyamory and Romantic Friendships is not just a preference of mine or a passing fancy. It is fundamental to how I see relationships working and any girl that I connect with needs to be okay with this.

Naturally this limits the field.

And you thought the Friend Zone Test was a filter!

If a girl ends up in a relationship with me?

It’s because she really wants to.

Though not intentional on my part?

I seem to do everything I can to scare her!

Naturally this goes in the face of much of the dating advice you’ve been hearing. You are told over and over that you should put your best foot forward.

That is exactly how NOT to do things.

If you pretend now?

You’ll have to pretend indefinitely.

What you want is a lover who loves the real you.

For that you have to stop HIDING.

But there is something much more important going on in why I insist on a girl being okay with polyamory. I know the psychology of you girls all too well. If you think you OWN a guy your affections aren’t lasting.

This goes the same for guys too.

Just not on quite the same level.

I detailed why this is so a while ago.

You always value what you can’t have.

Love is always in the wanting.

It fades in the having.

This is the problem with trying to find “the one.” Your desire for monogamy is counter productive. While you think you will love your lover forever? Once you have them you will no longer desire them.

Yes yes I know.

That will never happen for YOU.

You think you will be the grand exception to the statistics.

So did this girl who wanted to be “the one” with me.

She had already been somebody’s “one.”

It hadn’t worked out well.

I know that I sound like a broken record around here (What’s a record Kel?) but I really have your best interests in mind. I’m trying to save you a whole lot of grief in your love life.

As counter intuitive as it seems?

Being “just one of many” will actually fulfill your purpose.

Your purpose is LOVE.

Love that is lasting.

Finding “the one” will not make that happen.

To enjoy a love that will last?

You need to love every partner with an open hand.

What do you think? Are you ready yet to reconsider your desire to find “the one” and instead take the counter intuitive road to romantic happiness?