Well the #metoo discussion certainly makes things exciting.
At least for those of us interested in the relationship space.
Which is pretty well ALL of us.
If you thought the battle of the sexes was bad before?
This thing is really just warming up.
Never one to operate in the intellectual realm of the subtle, I thought I would take this thing head on. I’m here today to defend the time honored practice of the “cat call.”
If you’ve been hiding in prudish Christian circles?
I’ll fill you in on the goods.
A “cat call” is when a girl is walking down the street.
And some guy calls out to her.
“Hey baby!”
“Bring some of that over here!”
“Lookin’ good!”
“Sizzling hot!
That sort of thing.
This is a sacred rite by which high testosterone males indicate their approval of the physical endowments of a member of the opposite sex.
I admit I’ve never participated in this ritual.
Growing up in evangelical Christian circles?
I thought acknowledging my attraction was a SIN.
(Read what I think about all this as a Christian now here .)
So I did everything else I could.
Deflect my eyes.
Behave respectfully.
So I wouldn’t make girls feel uncomfortable.
Oh, and I watched all the other guys get the girls too!
Of course my historical Christian prudishness puts me in very good state right now. I’m not likely to get in trouble with the thought police who are seeking to overrun our culture.
At least not for my behavior toward the opposite sex.
Maybe for the blog posts I write though eh?!
But flashback to the 50s or what?
To that cherished time.
When my Christian ilk HELD SWAY.
After the sexual revolution of the 60s though?
Who would have thought that feminists would be the next ones?
The ones ushering in the DARK AGES again?
But there’s one thing about this whole #metoo thing you girls don’t seem to recognize. Not ALL of your sisters want these sexually assertive behaviors put to rest.
Since I’ve done a lot of dating?
I’ve had the chance to “interview.”
I’ve talked to a whole lot of you girls.
You know what QUITE a few of you indicate?
You LIKE receiving attention.
It’s NICE when you feel those eyes on you.
Giving you VISUAL compliments.
One girl I dated told me she felt it distinctly when she drifted into her 40s. Suddenly guys weren’t cat calling her any more and she realized they had moved on.
It is actually a well known phenonmenon.
A lot of you girls who don’t like cat calling?
You only dislike it until it STOPS.
Then suddenly you realize it.
You no longer carry the SEXUAL CAPITAL you once did.
You begin to look back winsomely.
To when you were “disrespected” because you were HOT.
I’m not saying all of you prudish girls will come to this same conclusion. Your sexually repressed upbringing may put you well beyond the pale of appreciating the compliment a cat call TRULY is.
But that doesn’t mean you have the right to rob the girls who ENJOY it.
Prevent them from experiencing this excitement FOR THEMSELVES.
Yes you may need to “endure” some “undesired” attention.
But that’s called living in a FREE society.
And I’m sure EVEN YOU appreciate that!
As I said before, “One girl’s sexual harrassment is another girl’s sexual thrill.”
What I’d really like to see though is everybody just start to loosen up. All this sexual OBSESSIVENESS is what creates Harvey Weinsteins in the first place.
When you don’t have a healthy relationship to your OWN sexuality?
That’s when sexual attention from guys?
It get’s you all uptight.
Sensitive.
Triggered.
But really the problem is YOU.
You need to come to realize the reason these behaviors make you so uncomfortable? You’ve never come to be relaxed about your own sexuality at all.
I know this from experience.
I was a porn addict for years.
I didn’t overcome this by hiding myself from porn.
From continuing to be a PRUDE.
I overcame it by acknowledging natural desires for what they are.
Something to be enjoyed.
Without obsessing over them.
Trying to pretend they just aren’t there.
So the next time you receive a cat call, instead of being a prude, look right back at those horny guys and smile…then walk merrily on your way!
The cat call may not be the HIGHEST form of dating technique.
But I’m sure it’s landed a girl for more than a guy or two.
A girl who understood and enjoyed the game.
I believe in her right to experience that thrill.
Without the rest of you shutting her down.
What do you think? Can you lighten up a bit and receive a compliment for what it IS?
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This is such a stunning, staggering, self-deceptive misrepresentation of what #MeToo is in fact about, I am almost speechless.
In the name of every friend I have who has been sexually harassed with unwanted sexual attention in the name of “Boys will be boys” and “You know you REALLY want it,” I am filled with utter abhorrence and disgust.
This is garbage. Self-serving, selfish, justifying asshole garbage. Maybe I should cut you some slack because you grew up in a hardcore Christian household, so your whole idea of sex and relationships is skewed, but you know what: you’re a big boy now, and you should be able to handle the truth.
And the truth is: you know nothing about women’s experience, and apparently care even less. You are a self-absorbed, selfish manchild.
Actual women are on this site telling you that they don’t appreciate cat calling and feel unsafe and annoyed when it happens. If you are incapable of listening, then you are what’s wrong with men.
Utter rubbish.
Les start with the term “cat call”.
Cat. Diminishing women to an animal.
Cat also leads right into another word for the creature – pussy. Reducing women to their anatomy, the part you so want to use for your personal pleasure.
Neither of these are ok.
You are not ok.
You’re also not who should be deciding what women should and should not be ok with.
This reads like a budding incel manifesto.
So really, the problem is YOU.
I sincerely hope that the author of this piece is a 14-year-old boy, because if it’s not, it’s a clear indication of supposed “deep thinking” gone horribly, horribly wrong. What a waste of a potential intellect.
Do better.
I was cat called throughout my youth. I found it terrifying. I was also accosted, followed, crotch grabbed, had somebody try to get into my car. Cat calling was just the beginning. I kept my eyes down and rarely went anywhere alone. I was thrilled when it lessened in my 50s (though it doesn’t go away entirely & it still scares me.) I still cross the street if men, especially in groups, approach. I am not and never was a sexual prude. I am also a woman, not a “girl.” This article is nonsense and it is dangerous nonsense.
Maybe, just maybe, you could get out of your tiny white man bubble? This happens in many cultures, not just your previous family fundie culture. It is often terrifying, and lets be honest, a lot of men are following females who want nothing to do with them. We are afraid to walk down a dark street, take night classes at the local uni, or go out alone. Sometimes, (get this, it’s crazy) we just want to walk anywhere, we want to be as anonymous and bland/boring as you are, but a lot less misogynistic. You speak for no women. STFU dingleberry
I have never been a sexual prude.
I never slept with catcallers, either.
Post-40 me still wants to slice their nuts off. You asked us to be honest? Boom. There it is.
Ps. With a dull knife.
Why do people insist on being loud and wrong at the same time?
What about the other side of cat calling? The one where I was 15 and got cat called from a car, and then when I embarrassedly turned away, because I didnt know how to respond, he followed me for two blocks screaming that I was a whore, a slut, etc?
Or the guy who cat called me again when I was 23, and then when I pretended not to hear his incredibly graphic description of what he wanted to do to me, parked in the crosswalk to try and block me from going where I needed to and switched to an incredibly graphic description of how he was going to rape me for being so rude?
Or the guy who pulled up at a bus stop where I was waiting and actually got out and tried to force me into his car, where he intended to force me to “suck his dick” until I screamed for the police at the top of my lungs?
Yeah, you’re right. I’m really gonna miss that shit when I’m 45.
What a load of shit!! You really need to pull your head out of whatever ass it’s shoved up and join the real world.
I’m now in my 50’s and this shit still goes on and it makes me want to vomit.
Grow the fuck up!! Try treating women with the respect we deserve. If not, move the fuck over cause you’re going to get run over!!
Asshole!!
Sweet rationality, are clueless or just an ignorant asshole?
Stop. Just stop. Stop being a mysoginistic, narcissistic, horrific clueless asshole. You demean women with thoughts like this. You demean good and decent men with thoughts like this. You purport to be a Christian, yet do you think for one fucking minute that Jesus would stoop to treating or advocate treating women like this? Women are not beneath us and by treating them like this, you are doing nothing but making them objects. Women are our equals. As a man, your thoughts disgust me and I’d like to apologize to any woman who comes across this pile of bovine crap. Even that isn’t enough.
You need to go back to counseling. You have some deep seated issues and until you figure out what those issues are, I implore you to stop posting this fucking nonsense.
Woman here, who grew up in hellfire & brimstone, the constant message being anything that gave us unworthy mortals a modicum of joy or pleasure was inherently evil. In the same vein, women were vilified; Lilith, Eve, Sara, Mary Magdalene The Whore, etc.. and modern women, especially the unGodly-Sexually Liberated-Feminists with their birth control pills and abortions were to be conTAINED, conTROLLED, and if a girl/woman provoked Cat-Calling Lust in a man it was SHE who brought the sin into his mind! I rejected this brand of “God” & worked very hard at not letting it warp me. I enjoyed sex and never felt ashamed to be a lusty wench with my partners. Being cat-called is NOT part of healthy sexuality, dude! It is, in fact, a disrespectful dominant terrorism that victimizes women when we are young and yes, attempts to impart the message that we are less desirable after a certain age. You sir, in numerous articles declare your “love of women” but in fact, your “expert” relationship articles reflect thst you love yourself and enjoy the pleasure women provide your self-serving misogyny. Hurray for you for refraining from the classlessness of being the cat-caller, who isn’t celebrating woman as much as he is celebrating having a reserve of testosterone and a penis. That is all the kudos you get for this article. The man who truly loves the female counterpart won’t seek to publicly embarrass or degrade. And the WISE man will know that the hot girl who gives her heart to him will get even hotter, sexier AFTER her 20’s & 30’s! Back on point, please engage your brain and write RESPONSIBLY if you are going to be the guru for modern love! Catcalling is NOT flattery!