A sure fire sign it’s not safe to fall in love?
Allegedly it is the “red flag” phenomenon.
Whenever you’re dating anyone?
These are what you should be concerned about apparently.
Or so says a relationship coach friend of mine who wrote an Instagram post about this urgency. According to her, you need to be on the look out for “red flags that the person you are dating is “no bueno” for you.
The problem as she sees it?
It “haaaaaaaaaaard to see the red flags at the beginning.”
Why is it so difficult?
Because your date has “so many of the good qualities” you’re looking for too.
So apparently a person having lots of great qualities is something you should consider a problem. Why? Because per usual with monogamy, this is no guarantee they are perfect ENOUGH to make it through.
But if you don’t plan to live with them?
Have no intention of becoming committed?
Suddenly all these red flags you’re worried about?
They just become “that other stuff about them.”
When you have a romantic friendship with someone, you are focused only on their positives. Yes they have their negatives just like you have your negatives, but so what?
I’m not saying you can connect with everyone.
By all means take a pass on that drug addict.
But just because somebody isn’t “marriage material?”
That doesn’t make them someone with whom you shouldn’t fall in LOVE.
Instead of “eventually this relationship will come to a screeching halt when the BIGGER red flags make way?” Now you can have a wonderful romantic friendship with each other, while still remaining your own independent selves.
“Barely conceivable clues?”
Ones that “if you don’t have your observer hat on you’ll miss them?”
Those become “much ado about nothing.”
Whatever is “wrong” with them is totally okay.
It doesn’t matter how much you “play detective in the first few months when getting to know someone.” As long as monogamy is your goal, they are still going to disappoint you eventually.
I definitely agree “friends first is better” though.
But that’s because friends LATER is better also!
With Romantic Friendships it’s always “safe for a romance to arise.”
Because nobody needs to “be a good fit” for you.
What do you think? Do you really have to worry about all those red flags you’re so concerned about, or is the big red flag you’re not paying attention to implications of monogamy?
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