There is a lot of advice these days on how to choose the right romantic partner.
You are encouraged to figure out what is important to you.
Compile a list of everything you think this person should be.
Then you’ll be set to evaluate each candidate as he comes into your life.
If he misses too many check marks on the list, you probably won’t be good together.
Depending on the love guru you’re following, the list will consist of different things.
For instance, do you share the same interests?
If you like hiking and sky diving and he’s a gamer, he might not be the best match.
What kind of music does he like?
Does he enjoy going to the clubs on a Friday night?
Or is he more of a Netflix and chill type?
And what about compatibility? If he’s an extrovert and you’re an introvert, would you be able to keep up with him?
Or maybe your big thing is dancing.
What if he prefers a quiet evening of stimulating conversation with friends?
Health could be important too.
You like to work out every day.
Keep your meals to vegan choices.
You’re gonna have a problem if your partner is into Alberta beef .
If you like fashion and he dresses for the farm, will you feel uncomfortable being seen with him in public?
And then there’s your values.
Maybe you’re a spiritual person.
Does he even care about personal growth?
And the list goes on and on.
You’ll notice I’ve assumed you are a girl making this list.
That’s not an accident.
While I’m not saying guys never make lists, most guys do not major in this. We perceive our “needs” pretty simply.
I saw a meme on Facebook once that made it pretty plain.
It listed the things needed to please a girl.
That list was 49 items long!
Her list might have been truncated.
But it was sufficiently contrastive to what it takes to please a guy.
His list consisted of the following:
(1) Leave him alone
(2) Feed him
(3) Give him the remote
Obviously a tongue in cheek meme and I’m pretty sure this one was left off for acceptability:
(4) Give him sex
What I want to say in conclusion though, is that nothing I’ve written so far, has anything to do with choosing the right romantic partner.
Not even that short guy list.
All the criteria I’ve described above?
It’s about finding someone you can live with day in and day out.
In other words, it’s about how to find a marriage partner.
Or someone you could cohabit with.
Neither marriage nor cohabitation have anything to do with romantic love.
You don’t need either to be in love with someone and enjoy your connection with them.
I’ve defined romantic love as “the desire to experience sexual fulfillment and emotional connection that’s mutually shared and enjoyed.”
The only thing you need for that to take place, is the shared desire on your part and your partner’s part too.
So finding and choosing and having a romantic partner?
That’s really actually very easy.
Step 1: Find someone who shares your desire for sexual fulfillment and emotional connection.
Step 2: Begin a romantic relationship together.
Don’t complicate it with all that other stuff you’ve been told to add to your list.
That’s what’s keeping you from experiencing true romantic love in your life.
Love doesn’t have to be hard.
Stop making it that way.
Open up your heart to real love.
So what do you say? Time to trim down that list to the just what the real requirements are?
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