The date is February 2011 and I’m in the midst of a whirlwind of change.
Just two months prior at Christmas time, I found out my long term partner was considering leaving me.
In a state of panic I begin trying to figure myself out now.
Why had I never been able to connect with her emotionally?
What did it mean that I had been addicted to masturbating to porn all those years?
Even though I had always been a sexual avoider, what would becoming a good lover look like, now that I wanted to be one for her?
And if I was going to begin being sexual with my partner, how could I overcome my premature ejaculation problem?
As you can see, the inevitability of a much different life was upon me, and I was trying to make good on the project.
But I never realized how important that premature ejaculation question would turn out to be.
Little did I know that pursuing its answer would open up an entirely different world for me.
But not particularly because I learned to control my ejaculatory response.
What I would learn about was the deeper question of the difference between just “having sex” and truly making love. And that would turn out to be the priceless gain I walked away with.
In learning about overcoming premature ejaculation?
I discovered the key to truly becoming a great lover for my partners.
I still remember with gratitude the craziness of that time.
I was pursuing answers like there was no tomorrow.
Because I knew there would not be a tomorrow for my relationship, if I couldn’t figure out how to turn things around.
Sex with my partner had always been a minimal affair.
We didn’t “have sex” often.
But whenever we did I left my partner very dissatisfied, because I could never last that long.
In fact, I couldn’t last more than about 60 seconds and then I would be finished.
That Christmas of 2010, my partner and I were watching the final scene of Season 1 of The Tudors.
In it Anne Boleyn and Henry the VIII run off into the forest, and end up in a long love making session together.
While we were watching my partner turned to me and said, “I wonder if we could ever make long, passionate love like that.”
Her statement set the bar for what I felt I needed to achieve.
So I aimed my sights on figuring out how to last longer.
I bought an online program aimed at overcoming this challenge.
But something this program emphasized really disturbed me at first.
It said a primary reason you prematurely ejaculate, is because you’re too excited about sex.
You think of it as something special.
Something you can’t wait for, and always want to experience.
Because of this emotional build up?
When you enter your partner you lose it too soon.
Your imagination sends you over the edge.
The answer, according to this program, was to begin thinking of sex as “normal” instead.
Nothing to get excited about.
Just another part of life.
“How could that possibly be the answer?” I thought.
Isn’t the point that sex IS exciting?
That it is worth getting all worked up about?
The whole point is to build up to an exciting climax right?
Then the program said another disturbing thing.
It said you need to shift from thinking of things as “sexual,” and start thinking about them as “sensual” instead.
The point is not to drive toward an orgasm.
It is to slow down.
Enjoy the sensuality of the experience.
Take time to touch your partner.
Feel her breath.
Enter into the moment and just “be” there.
It talked about Tantra, and how people who practice it make love for hours, not minutes.
They do so by slowing things down.
Letting go of the desire to get excited.
I was so disappointed when I read this.
It just didn’t make any sense to my Western psyche.
Wouldn’t the whole point of sex be lost, if you didn’t experience it as exciting anymore?
Get out of my imagination and into my senses?
What good would that do?
You might as well just roll over and go to sleep!
I’m so glad I didn’t listen to myself back then. I’m glad I began to experiment, and explore the avenue of rich touch with my partner.
Because what I’ve learned is that, far from this shift making sex less interesting?
Instead, it creates a rich, luxurious experience I could never have known before.
Sometimes I make love in a very Tantric way.
Other times I still enjoy the more “Western” way of conventional sex.
But what I can tell you in no uncertain terms?
By slowing things down and taking time?
I gained so much more than what I left behind.
Instead of a brief sexual encounter resulting in a quick release, where the only pleasure is a 10 second (or less) orgasm, I enjoy loving and experiencing my partners for long periods of ecstatic pleasure now.
And my partners appreciate this too.
No longer do I hear, “I wonder if we could ever make long, passionate love like that.”
Instead, they say things like “My body responds to your touch like an 18 year old.”
“You lasted a really long time!”
“I’ve never responded this way with anyone else before.”
I don’t write any of that to brag. I just want you to know that it doesn’t matter where you’re at right now.
You can change you’re life.
Are you a porn consuming premature ejaculator?
Do you feel you are a disappointment to the girls in your life?
So was I.
But I changed so that now the girls in my life see me as a great lover.
You can too.
I’ll help you do it!
You can become a great lover that girls desire to be with.
All it takes is committing yourself to getting it done.
What are you waiting for?
Contact me now and let’s get started changing your life forever!
What do you think? Are you ready to become a great lover too?
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