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Healing Your Triggers Is Overrated (Part 2)

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Healing Your Triggers Is Overrated

As you ought to know by now?

Personal growth is not the point of your relationship.

The only reason to be with your partner?

It’s to experience and enjoy romantic love with them.

Even so Romantic Friendships can still have an interesting therapeutic impact for you. It turns out they’re an excellent environment for indirectly healing your attachment wounds.

To review…

If you are a love addict?

You are always anxious whether your partner loves you.

If you are a love avoidant?

You’re worried your partner is going to emotionally drain you.

Alternatively, as a love addict you don’t know how to experience real intimacy. As a love avoidant you still don’t want to be completely alone either.

Romantic Friendships strike this balance.

You are connected but independent.

What this does for your attachment wounds?

It heals them through a gentle “exposure therapy.”

As a love addict when you meet up with your partner the love you desire is your total focus. But since you don’t spend your lives together otherwise you get to work on being okay alone too.

Similarly as a love avoidant?

Your lover isn’t constantly in your pocket.

But by meeting up with them regularly as well?

You’re still able to work on your fear of intimacy.

Although your natural desire as a love addict is to be with your partner 24/7? Doing so would actually drive your lover away from you.

Similarly as a love avoidant?

Though your natural desire is to keep your distance?

If you don’t spend regular time connecting too?

Your lover is more likely to eventually abandon you.

What Romantic Friendships do is help you both strike the perfect balance between love and your insecure tendencies. They give you what you need to stretch beyond your wounds but also what you need to feel okay while doing so.

As I’m always saying to you?

Romantic Friendships are the perfect contradiction.

By helping you do the opposite of what “they” tell you to?

They make your relationship happiness possible.

What do you think? To heal your attachment wounds is the answer really to blend your entire lives together or are you better to live independently and just meet up frequently to enjoy your connection?

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. T

    Great perspective! I prefer to be independent and just meet up on a somewhat regular basis. It allows me to work on my triggers privately and keeps me from becoming too focused on the relationship and the other person and also keeps me from trying to move the pace too fast 💕

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