I know you’re probably doing a double take here.
Because of your experience with guys?
You find they’re all just “out for sex.”
YOU’RE the one who falls in love.
And gets your heart broken over and over again.
And I will agree with you that a lot of guys are only about one thing. They want to get to sex with you and they’ll do anything to get you there.
Even pretend they’re in love.
So how can I say what I’m saying here?
That guys fall in love EASIER than you do?
You find when you meet a guy?
Your emotions start to fire.
How he draws you on?
You begin almost immediately to fantasize what it would be like to be his girl. You hang on his every word. You wonder if he feels it too.
It hits you so quickly.
How could anybody in his right mind suggest you don’t fall in love easily?
That’s not love.
The thing you keep interpreting as romantic love in your life is just your natural biological reaction. When you experience a reproductively promising match that happens to you so your DNA can get on the way.
Nature has wired you for this.
To get you in BED.
Get babies made.
That’s why HE’S wired for sex also.
He wants to spread his seed.
Not consciously of course.
But biologically it’s in his DNA.
Your fairly tale desire to be “swept off your feet” by a confident guy who comes into your life and SAVES you? That’s not romantic love.
Neither is it love when you “fall for him.”
Real romantic love happens like this:
You meet someone.
You’re attracted to him yes.
But then you slow things down.
You don’t rush to sex.
You really take time.
Do things together.
Actually get to KNOW one other first.
As you experience each other in a lot of different ways, you begin to know each other as you really are. Not as you fantacize each other to be.
And your affections?
They start to grow.
Slowly at first.
You start to “warm up to each other’s warmth.”
This is how a guy falls in love.
When he really does?
He gradually “warms up” to you.
As he comes to know you?
Little by little?
He loves you more and more.
If you haven’t confused things with sex by now (Fat chance I know!), he starts to desire to be physically intimate with you.
But not because it’s sex this time.
Because it’s really LOVE.
Because that’s truly the case?
He wants you in every way now.
Especially in THAT way.
Because he’s truly come to care for you?
In a very DEEP and MEANINGFUL way?
So he wants to share himself with you.
But then he realizes the terrible truth. You don’t really love him. You long ago relegated him to what we all know as the friend zone.
Because if you got THIS far?
Only spending TIME with him?
You long ago ruled him out as any kind of “romantic potential” for you.
Because at the very start you didn’t feel “that spark” or “thrill.”
He didn’t “sweep you off your feet” before he knew you.
The way you FANTACIZE he ought to.
So now you tell him you think he is a really great guy and you adore him in so many ways. But you just don’t feel the way he does and you hope it doesn’t spoil your friendship.
The reason you girls don’t fall in love easily?
You don’t understand what real love IS.
How it grows.
How it comes to be.
Love is NOT that “spark” or “thrill.”
It is coming to value the person you are with.
The way you just told him you feel about him.
The only way to fall in love is to take the time to get to know him “wars and all” and to fall in love with THAT. To do that you’ve got to take the time to truly become friends first without writing him off in the process.
But to you romance and FRIENDSHIP?
They just don’t ever mix it seems.
So you lose his love again.
Because you never took the time to let real love grow.
You never really do.
What do you say girls? Time to turn off that little fantasy machine of yours and take the time to warm up to his love for real this time?