Somebody shared the following tumblr comment thread with me recently:
Contributor 1:
Being female means avoiding eye contact with men to not draw attention to yourself as a potential target
Contributor 2:
Being a male means avoiding eye contact with girls because they might think we are ugly
Contributor 3:
Hmm yes being a target of abuse is equivalent to thinking you’re ugly
Contributor 4:
This is literally it. Male idea of oppression is girls not being sexually available to them when they want them to be. That’s why whiney internet guys cry so much about the friend zone. This is literally it for them.
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood
When I read this, all I could think was, “Wow!”
Are you girls really walking the streets, thinking that every guy who looks at you is a predator?
Do you really give guys that little credit?
Listen, I understand that frequently guys are physically bigger than you.
They could over power you.
A lot of guys could over power me too. Does that mean I walk the streets, worried that every one of them is a predator I need to try to avoid eye contact with?
Sure at night time, in a questionable neighborhood, maybe I’ll be more cautious.
But in my day to day life, walking around in broad daylight?
Not so much.
So why do you girls feel this way?
What does it mean that if you catch eye contact, you feel you’ve become a “potential target?”
Target for what?
For being approached with interest?
Is that really such a bad thing?
I’m not saying you need to reciprocate interest, if you’re not interested.
A friendly “Thank you but I have a boyfriend,” or even “Thank you but I’m not really interested” will do just fine.
But the Atwood quote expresses just how extreme, this whole thing really is for you girls.
You’ve fantacized this right up to the point, that you think your life is in danger.
From a guy expressing interest in you.
Really?
I’m not saying it is absolutely impossible that a guy who expressed interest in you could wind up a predator.
Like I said, I acknowledge that possibility even in reference to someone I might experience.
There is such an extreme unlikelihood of that in day to day life, this whole reaction is nothing more than that. An irrational emotional reaction.
One that you’re building up in your own mind.
And no this isn’t about guys who don’t want to be “friend zoned.”
Their fear of talking to you is just as irrational, as your fear of being talked to.
The fact guys aren’t worried about being harmed in any concrete way, doesn’t make their fear any less real.
Nor does it’s difference of outcome make your fear any less irrational either.
Isn’t it time we all loosen up a bit?
Take a deep breath?
Remember we’re in this together?
That everybody is innocent until proven guilty?
And most people are pretty good people?
What do you think girls? Time to relax and chill a bit?
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