She wasn’t the ultimate hottie.

But she had still done herself up quite nicely.

Calf high boots and bare legs with thigh length skirt.

Hair tucked up cutely.

A long shirt-like coat open at the front.

As I looked at her I felt that familiar stirring “way down under.” I found myself desiring her and wishing I could do something about it.

As I walked out of the elevator?

It once again struck me.

A message that I heard long ago at a youth retreat I attended.

The theme of that retreat?

It could have been dubbed The Battle Of The Sexes.

I still remember what the pastor told us that day, as we hung on his words about relationships. We couldn’t believe our ears when he said, “Girls give sex to get love, and guys give love to get sex.”

What a terrible thing to say right?

But what do you expect from Evangelicals?

The funny thing though?

This mindset isn’t limited just to Christians.

The entire dating and relationship scene?

It is the embodiment of his statement.

Of course, you don’t phrase it that way, but you guys are constantly trying to “get laid” efficiently. You’re trying to figure out how to do the minimum emotionally needed, to get her to “put out” for you.

Are you girls any better?

I know you think you’re much more noble.

But really?

If sex could be kept off the plate?

You’d be quite happy just being friends with him.

Yes I know some of you are DTF, and you’re actually looking for a hookup. Or at least you actually do like sex, even if you don’t want it to be a casual experience.

But even you non-casual girls?

The statistics don’t lie about you either.

In the long run, you’ll become a sexual abstainer.

Sex is just the lure you use to get his commitment to you.

Once you’ve got him, you think he should become a masturbator.

This mess is why I keep urging you both, to ignore what your DNA is telling you. I keep calling you to move to the place where you don’t settle for your preferred part of “the battle” anymore.

You want EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.

He wants SEX.

I get it.

But romantic love is BOTH or nothing.

Sexual fulfillment AND emotional connection.

Long term?

It is the only way you both will find romantic contentment.

How about you? Will you continue to insist on just trying to get what you want, instead of considering your partner, or will you choose to truly love your partner, by meeting their desires as well?