A lot of relationship advice for guys?
It suggests that a girl wants you to lead her.
I know. I know.
Isn’t that what I said when I talked about how attraction works?
What you need to understand though, is attraction is not the same thing as being in a relationship. A relationship is where two independent people share themselves with each other, because of mutually experienced value.
What your partner does?
That’s her business.
It has absolutely nothing to do with you.
If you don’t accept her exactly like she is?
What are you doing with her?
So much of the advice being bandied about, is all about monogamy’s problems. Because you’re trying to get her to be your perfect partner, you completely complicate things.
Once you’re worried?
“Is she really what I want?”
Now you need to be concerned about her behavior.
If she is a romantic friend of yours?
She’s who she is, and you just love her for it.
There can be a whole lot of things she is not, but you’re with her for what you value. She is with you for the very same reason, whether or not you’re any kind of leader at all.
As with any other friendship?
If you don’t click, just move on and be happy.
If you want to change?
Do it for yourself.
Don’t make what you want for yourself her issue.
Don’t make what she wants your issue either.
The reason you get all twisted around, is you are forever setting each other up with expectations. He’s doesn’t lead, or she’s overweight, or one of many other potential “challenges.”
Why are they challenges?
You haven’t let go of them.
Like Mel Mariposa says?
You’re experiencing the “monogamy hangover.”
Wouldn’t it be a huge relationship relief to just chill, and finally become accepting? To quit worrying what he or she thinks, and go ahead and be your own person now?
It’s called Romantic Friendships.
It’s a totally new way to approach your love life.
You do you.
Let her do her.
Enjoy love without the baggage.
What do you think? Do you really need to lead her or do you just need to find yourself a girl who will love you for you, so you can just be the great guy you are despite not being “everything” for her?
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