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Face It You Don’t Know Anything

In the relationship world what amazes me?

It’s the way everybody is so certain.

They just know monogamy is the way to go.

Or their favorite view of “polarity.”

Everybody is out there duking it out to convince you they’ve got the solution to your love life. But the more you listen to them the more they just confuse you.

One thing I do know for certain though?

They can’t all be right about this.

At least not when they contradict each other.

But of course there are always nuances.

I agree with the “extreme polarity” boys about how Nature has wired you, but I don’t think that means you should just follow your biology blindly.

The Living Apart Together monogamy crowd?

They at least get that “living apart” part right.

But the Monogamy Nirvana troops?

Sorry…you girls need to give up the fantasy!

One time I saw a girl go at a guy for insisting guys aren’t wired for monogamy. She told him he was just a “little boy” focused on satisfying his “wee wee.”

Okay, she didn’t put it quite like that!

I’m allowed a little artistic licence aren’t I?

But she knew this guy wasn’t a “real man.”

So she felt totally “embarrassed” for him.

Since I’ve been a philosopher for many years now, I always find these kinds of interchanges amusing. It emphasizes the value of what in our field we call “epistemological humility.”

There’s nothing wrong with thinking you’re right.

But have you never changed a belief you thought was certain?

Since that’s the case what makes more sense?

It’s to just respectfully share your “perspective.”

But once you have emotional vested interests, you tend to shift to what Ayn Rand called The Argument From Intimidation. Instead of responding to someone’s actual thoughts, you seek instead to demean the person.

I don’t care if you disagree with me.

What you believe is no skin off of my nose.

I’ve said before and will say again.

I’d rather be making love anyway!

What do you think? Are you totally sure you’ve got this whole relationship thing figured out with certainty, or could it be possible you don’t know anything yet and love could still surprise you?

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