“Don’t JUST settle down with anyone.”

“Don’t settle down with just ANYONE.”

“Just DON’T settle down with anyone.”

Isn’t that interesting?

As you can see how “just” you are about your relationship life can make all the difference. Move that one word around and a lot of implications for your love life are revealed.

When you first start out?

You want to find someone.

Anyone.

You just want to have a relationship.

You need to listen to the first advice.

“Don’t JUST settle down with anyone.”

When you JUST settle down you’re going to SETTLE FOR.

Your love life will hit the skids that way.

Hopefully eventually you’ll come to realize that your love life is not really just about having a relationship. What it is about is having a relationship with a real person in flesh and blood.

Then you move on to the second phrase.

“Don’t settle down with just ANYONE?”

If you’re going to put all your eggs in one basket?

That basket better be good!

In this case the basket is a person.

Who they ARE is very important.

You don’t want to end up with a basket case!

But both these phrases make the assumption that what you’re looking for is monogamy. That’s what makes you want a relationship for it’s own sake and think the person you want it with has to be so good.

Why not take things the rest of the way now?

Recognize monogamy is completely irrelevant.

If you love the PERSON?

What need is there to settle down with them at all?

You can be in love with anybody.

No one you’re in love with has to be EVERYTHING.

You just need to value each person for who they are.

Anything they are not?

You can enjoy that with someone else if you want.

That’s why I opt for Door Number 3 and say, “Just DON’T settle down with anyone.” Have relationships in your life but don’t make them about monogamy, cohabitation or any of that.

Since all your eggs aren’t in the monogamy basket?

You don’t really have to worry.

You’re not fully invested in any one person.

You just enjoy your connections with everyone you love.

In a nice, easy romantic friendship.

It’s the relationship option for the 21st Century!

What do you think? Will you finally opt for Door Number 3 as well and quit settling for monogamy and all its complications and instead recognize there’s no need for you to settle at all?