Well it seems to be drama day.
No I’m not talking about my love life.
But on Facebook today what did I see?
Two different people raised the question of drama in relationships.
The first was a friend of mine who is a psychotherapist. He posted the question, “Why do most people dislike drama so much while others thrive on it?”
Lots of people chimed in of course.
I gave him a simple answer.
I said, “The more emotional your nature is?”
“The more you feel you ‘need’ change.”
Even though drama is all about negative emotions, it still changes your emotional environment. If you can’t get positive feelings happening, then negative feelings will do.
The second instance of this drama theme?
It came from one of my female Facebook friends.
She posted a meme to her feed that read,
“Wanting only ‘drama-free relationships’ = avoidance.”
Hmmm.
Since she added the hashttag #diaryofarecoveringavoidant she clearly had herself as her target. But if you read Part 1 you know I’ve also been accused of being avoidant on this point as well.
Despite that though, what I still affirm?
Your relationship doesn’t need to be filled with drama.
If you do things the way I recommend?
You can skip a lot of the sources of emotional strain (though of course not all).
A few years back when I described my approach to relationships, yet another female friend also wondered about me. Since what I was describing sounded so drama-free, she thought I must be being avoidant too.
My response to her at that time?
“I no longer avoid emotional connection.”
“I’m totally ready to connect any time.”
“I just don’t believe drama is necessary as well.”
But of course if you love creating drama, there’s not much I can do about that. If constant emotional irrationality is your thing, you probably won’t end up having a romantic friendship with me.
Love really can be easy.
You just have to focus on the positives.
If you stick with what you have in common together?
All that drama will melt away!
What do you think? Does love really need to be so hard and constantly filled with drama, or could you learn to love in a way where you fill your time together with nothing but those good feelings instead?
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