A recent interchange online got me thinking.
So often you’re trying to figure out how everybody ELSE should live.
What everybody else should say as well.
Whenever I say “girl” instead of “woman?”
I get my more feminist friends upset with me.
A lot of you girls are trying to recover from what feminism has done to you. Admittedly lots of us guys are trying to recover from it too.
I can’t say “you girls” and “us guys” either.
That’s setting up an “us versus them” battle.
Because the Battle of the Sexes?
That’s something I have a whole lot of influence on!
But the real concern of all this worrying you do over words is the much bigger underlying theme behind it. You think there is really only one way EVERYBODY should live their lives.
Of course you don’t say that’s what you think.
But actions speak louder than words.
You say everybody should be authentic.
But when I’m authentic?
It makes you upset.
You think I should be careful the way I express myself.
If I say what I actually think?
Who knows whose sensitivities I’ll damage?
I’m really not here to tread lightly at all or make sure I don’t step on your toes in the process. I’m sharing my raw comprehension of what I see in the relationship space with you.
It IS a battlefield.
It IS “us versus them.”
One convo with your girlfriends about guys settles it doesn’t it?
I know it sure does when I talk with guys about you.
This whole Venus and Mars thing?
It is real.
And there is nothing wrong about it.
It is actually part of the fun if you let it be!
The problem is you are hoping to find some kind of societal utopia. A place where the sexes merge and agree and your love life really becomes everything you wish for it.
That is a fantasy.
It’s never going to happen.
That’s why all your “hoped for” visions of love are doomed from the outset.
One girl asked me once, “Are you American?”
I think she meant because I tend to “get in your face” about all this.
And yes I know that I definitely do.
But somebody has got to do it!
Might as well be me!
The fact is all your relationship teachers and coaches are spinning you a tale they know you want to hear from them. I don’t knock them for that because what they are tellling you is what THEY wish was true too.
You all want to wish upon a star.
Dream your prince (or princess) will come to you.
Or that porn star will finally beg you to bed her!
What you don’t spend your time doing?
You don’t examine love itself to cross-check your fantasies.
To figure out if love has ever worked the way you want it to.
And if it hasn’t?
What are you going to do about it?
What is not working is societal utopian romantic bliss for everyone. It’s just not on the program. What is actually happening is 80% failure, while you keep dreaming your knight in shining armor will come and rescue you!
What I am always suggesting here?
It is a completely alternative way to go about this.
A kind of utopia built for two.
Or more than two if you want.
In this alternate way of doing things?
You make your love life it’s own little bubble.
An oasis in the midst of the madness.
Something to run away to.
Don’t complicate your love life with all the other things everybody is trying to insist you include in your utopia. Things that everyone finds out eventually are not worth the price you pay.
Trying to get long-term monogamy working?
It just isn’t worth the effort!
Try on Romantic Friendships instead!
You just have to quit fighting it.
Instead of “the dream?”
Embrace what your heart is truly desiring.
What do you think? Would you like to give up on your utopian fantasy and instead find that little utopia built for two I’m speaking of?