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Complimenting You On Your Personality Is Superficial

I read an interesting Facebook comment thread today.

It was discussing “Words of Affirmation.”

Though this girl claims to be a WOA girl?

She doesn’t like compliments about her LOOKS.

At first you might agree with her, because how you look has nothing to do with who you are really. How is it a compliment to affirm you for something that you had nothing to do with?

Instead what should you be complimented for?

Another girl offered a meme that listed things:

Your contagious ENERGY.

The way your mind works.

How your smile lights up a room.

Your personality!

Isn’t it interesting though that none of these other things are any less superficial? You don’t really choose what nature dishes out to you, even regarding these things do you?

The fact is?

You frequently compliment people for things that are “superficial.”

These traits are ATTRACTIVE to you.

That’s what makes you admire them.

Isn’t it?

Even something as central as your personality is not really chosen. You’re given a set of personality traits, and then you have to work with the hand you’ve been dealt right?

Wait a minute you say!

Isn’t it about what you DO with it that matters?


But isn’t that also true about the way you LOOK?

If you question this?

Ask anybody who struggles with that weight thing!

The truth is, you get too obsessed with trying to distinguish what aspects about yourself are inherent, and which are voluntary. Instead, what really matters is the whole package that is YOU.

Myself I find compliments odd.

But I’m not a WOA guy.

For me giving them is equally odd.

People who seek compliments feel insecure to me.

Be that as it may, what I really don’t get is when people who want compliments start to get picky. If a person is expressing appreciation, shouldn’t that be enough for you?

The next time someone compliments you?

Why not just say, “Thank you!”

Irrespective of the trait they chose?

It’s an act of love if it’s coming from their HEART.

What do you think? Does it really matter what aspect of you someone chooses to express appreciation for, or is it the fact they love you and are affirming you that matters?

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