I had a fun chat today.
It was with a female relationship coach friend.
She was asking some things about my thoughts.
Trying to understand my crazy views.
I was telling her I think that checklists are a problem because “everybody tries to second guess what love has to be.” I told her I think that’s why love gets messed up all the time.
“But there isn’t a right way to love,” she said.
“To each his own right?”
I replied, “As far as statistics go?”
“There’s some pretty high ones against that!”
But when I told her what I really want now is just to enjoy love without the baggage? That’s when she became totally convinced I really HAVE lost my mind!
“Wait! What?” she said again.
“You want love but not the baggage?”
“Isn’t love all ABOUT the baggage?”
“As much as it is about the connection too?”
She continued, “People cannot help they have baggage. Baggage is a part of life. You have baggage too and so do I. You’re never going to find love without it are you?”
When she said this what I realized?
I need to give you some clarification.
When I say you can have love without the baggage?
I’m not talking about your PERSONAL baggage at all.
What I’m talking about is all the things you think have to go along with love or it’s not the “real thing.” All the things you insist have to be a part of your love life that only make it hard.
But the funny thing is?
When you remove all of those things completely?
Suddenly even your personal baggage?
It becomes much less relevant.
Now you don’t have to require your partner to be anything. You can just value them for who they are and they can value you as well.
Since your personal lives are separate now?
Your problems remain YOUR problems.
The focus between the two of you?
It becomes ONLY about the love you share!
What do you think? Is love really about the baggage you both bring into the picture or is it actually possible to structure your love life so that even your personal baggage becomes much less impactive?