“I can be the Cool Girl too.”
“Until I start falling.”
“Once I do I’m looking for a little more quid pro quo.”
What she was really saying?
Romantic Friendships sound fun but they’re not the REAL thing.
Once you’re really serious about someone you want monogamy.
I heard something similar from another girl when I was discussing a recent breakup. She thought I was failing to recognize I wasn’t giving my partner a “reason to stay.”
After all I wasn’t committing to her.
I expected her to love me without any assurances.
Once again the implicit point?
My love is no assurance at all!
Romantic Friendships are just a fling.
A temporary situation.
What I’m doing here is playing the field.
I’m not being serious at all.
Of course I understand all these thoughts simply reflect how embedded it is in your psyche. Your cultural and biological programming is really amazing to behold!
There is nothing “un-serious” about the love I offer.
I’m not a player.
I don’t commit because commitment means nothing.
People break that type of commitment every day.
If REAL romantic love is present?
Commitment won’t change that.
Want to know the humorous thing though?
I never break up with anyone.
Even if a girl leaves me several times?
I’m always ready to start up again if she comes back.
Because once I come to love a girl…I just do.
So I guess if you want to, you could say that I am committed to the loves I have in my life. The thing I won’t commit to though is that thing that doesn’t work. I just won’t commit to monogamy.
But I do have girls who aren’t committed to ME.
Because even though they love me they leave me anyway.
Because “someone else” comes along.
Willing to commit to them EXCLUSIVELY.
That magic allure of monogamy is strong.
There seems to be nothing I can do about it.
So when a girl chooses to leave me I just let her go and then I wait and see how things develop. Because I know monogamy doesn’t work I know there is a good chance she’ll be back.
Because she honestly knows that I do love her.
Even if I won’t give my love in the failed way she desires.
It’s honestly hard to watch the parade.
See how this circus act keeps repeating and repeating.
Over and over.
What can I do?
I’m just a voice in the wilderness trying to point the way.
So go ahead and worry about finding someone to commit to you and then worrying how they don’t seem to live up to it.
I’ll just be over here loving the girls who open their hearts to me.
And I’ll keep hoping for you.
Hoping that one day you’ll finally understand.
Realize what real romantic love is about.
If you lose enough times?
Maybe you’ll learn eventually.
Then you’ll want a real relationship after all.
So you’re still chasing the dream are you? As Dr Phil says, “How’s that working for you?”