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But Eventually You’ll Want A Real Relationship (Part 4)

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series But Eventually You'll Want A Real Relationship

Paradigm shifts are a challenging thing.

Especially across an entire culture.

It’s hard enough getting yourself to think (and feel!) differently.

How does a whole society move to a different model?

An example of what I’m talking about is an article called What Is a ‘Situationship’? Here’s How to Tell if You’re in One—and if It’s a Bad Thing. (link no longer works) In it, the author seeks to address what appears to him to be a “troubling” new social phenomenon.

“Situationships involve feelings and expectations.”

“…but not the full range implicit in traditional monogamous relationships.”

It’s “a relationship that has no label on it.”

“Like a friendship but more than a friendship.”

Sound familiar?

But in typical fashion, the author can’t quite bring himself to see this as “quite a relationship.” The reason of course should be obvious by now. Nothing is a REAL relationship to him, other than one involving exclusivity and commitment for the long run.

One reason you can know it’s not the real deal?

People in “situationships” don’t “proudly boast” they are in one.

“No we’re not officially partners,” they say.

“It’s actually just a situationship!”

But when what you’re “in” goes against the grain of the dominant cultural paradigm? That’s going to make for some definite eyebrow raising. Since everybody else doesn’t consider it a “real” relationship, what else are you going to say to them?

Since I’m pretty “out with it” about my lovestyle?

I’ve found this amusing for a long time now.

I’m used to seeing people squirm in discomfort.

But as I told you before about Romantic Friendships?

They are every bit serious and REAL relationships.

But I agree with the author if you’re in something you actually feel is only for you a “situationship?” You probably should evaluate what you’re doing there. If you don’t value what you’re experiencing then you are dishonoring your love, and your partner in the process.

I’ll leave it to you to decide what you think.

Are “situationships” really just a consequence of “hook up” culture?

Or do they reflect a genuine cultural shift?

A move toward less “enmeshed” romantic relationships.

Myself, I think that the paradigm shift represented in this theme is a definite one that will continue growing. More and more people are beginning to believe you can indeed enjoy romantic love, without losing your independence and without all the extra baggage.

Instead of asking “Where is this going?”

People are recognizing it doesn’t have to go anywhere.

Loving each other with an open hand?

It actually IS the best way to have a real relationship!

What do you think? Are Romantic Friendships really just a “situationship” that lack genuine long term potential, or is that just your outdated paradigm expressing itself and robbing you of genuine connection?

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