The worst time to fall in love?
It’s when you first meet a person.
When you first encounter each other?
You’re too busy trying to impress.
You don’t let your new friend see who you are but only who you think they want you to be. The reason you do this is you’re completely afraid if they know who you are it will scare them away.
But that is exactly what you want.
You don’t want them if they can’t handle you.
Because that is who they are going to be with.
Once all your acting has gone away.
And it will go away.
Don’t kid yourself.
Nobody can act like somebody they aren’t 24/7. Sometime somewhere you’re going to let down your guard and the jig will be up at last.
Now your partner has to dicide.
“Do I really like the ACTUAL person I fell in love with?”
This can be a brutal time.
Most relationships simply don’t survive it.
All your acting creates expectations.
What else is your partner to do?
Who in their right might simply assumes?
“This new person I’m with is LYING to me.”
Now before you get all worried and concerned I’ll let you in on a little secret. Everyone lies to a new partner they’re with because it is just too hard to be yourself at first.
This is why I keep telling you.
Don’t get physical too soon.
Take the time to get to KNOW each other first.
When you get physical you lose your mind.
You think you’re “in love.”
That’s a dangerous moment for your love.
Of course when attraction hits you like this you are “in love” in the Disney Fantasy fashion. But you have to realize eventually that fantasy is going to fade.
When it does you’re in BIG trouble.
If you haven’t built anything more solid by then.
The best way to do this is to take it slow.
Focus on spending TIME together first.
Getting to know each other.
Experiencing each other in a lot of different contexts.
What you want more than anything else with a new potential partner is to have the chance to experience your darkest sides together.
Those are the parts you have to be okay with.
All the rest is just smoke and mirrors.
Everybody has a darker side.
Nobody is as perfect as they seem.
Once you get this part into your head?
You can finally start making progress.
Because you value your real partner at last.
So what do you think? Are you ready to start misbehaving more so you scare away anybody who can’t really take you?
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