I just read a blog post by a guy who helps men who find themselves in sexless marriages.
It tells guys what to do when their wife isn’t living up to her marriage vows.
I ran across Calle Zorro in early 2014, when I started to study the question of sexless marriages.
Yes I qualified as a potential customer at that time!
I even bought one of his packages.
That was my gateway into the world of the pickup artists and the seduction community.
Zorro is not a pickup artist himself, but he draws on similar principles in the advice he gives.
More on my introduction and study of that world another time!
But through this ilk of relationship advice, I began to learn a particular perspective.
What they essentially say is this: If things aren’t going right in your relationship, it is because you as the guy are dropping the ball.
Why would they say this?
Aren’t guys and girls equal?
Aren’t you both responsible to make your relationship work?
You’ve got that all wrong.
You see that’s not how guys and girls “work.”
Guys are always the initiators.
Girls are always the responders.
It’s the yin yang of life.
Masculine and feminine energy.
Another way to look at all this is as a guy you are logical, but your girl is emotional. This gives you the ability to change things when you see they aren’t right.
Not so with your girl.
Since she’s driven by emotion?
Her behavior is always just a response to how she’s feeling.
In your relationship that means how she is feeling about you.
How she behaves is just a reflection of YOUR behavior.
If you’re behaving in a way that makes her feel bad about you?
She can’t respond with affection or love or sex.
Until you change your behavior?
She is trapped in the negative feelings you are giving her.
So as you can see, either way it is your responsibility as the guy whether your relationship goes well or not.
She is just responding to you.
Because that’s how nature has made things to work.
Your energy is active.
Her energy is receptive.
There is nothing you can do to change this.
You can only work WITH it.
I can just imagine how my feminist friends (if I have any) are reacting right now. No doubt emotionally!
But that would seem to prove the very point I’m making right?
Oh wait a minute.
You’re a MALE feminist?
And you’re reacting this way too?
I thought only FEMALES respond emotionally.
Males are SUPPOSED to act logically.
Didn’t you get the memo?
Oh you’re a female feminist and you’re NOT reacting emotionally?
You just think what I’ve decribed above is silly and doesn’t make sense?
You’re not supposed to be able to do that either.
Now I’m really confused!
Okay I’ll come clean. I don’t REALLY believe all this male/female energy teaching is the whole story.
I do think there is something to it though.
Because all of this does tend to be how attraction works.
Nature wants babies made!
But real romantic love isn’t about any of that.
It’s about valuing your partner for who he or she is.
And that’s something ANYBODY can do.
Where you get messed up is when you let the attraction game get in the way of truly loving your partner.
Or let your insecurities become a JUSTIFICATION for your relationship dynamic.
Emotions get in the way for ALL of us.
They can take you out whether you’re a guy OR a girl.
If you’re not careful you will stop valuing your partner when something bad arises.
If you let things get to the point that your emotions take over, you will indeed find yourself struggling to respond positively to your partner at all.
EVEN if you’re a GUY!
But the answer is not to just say to yourself, “There’s nothing I can do about it.”
Whether you’re a guy OR a girl?
You CAN become unstuck.
Need some help doing that?
There are concrete things you can do to restore the feeling of romantic love.
That’s a big part of what I do.
I help people become UNSTUCK.
Hit me up for a Skype session, or a coffee if you’re in the Vancouver area, and let’s talk.
Your relationship problems aren’t anybody’s FAULT.
They are just the NATURAL ups and downs we all experience in love.
You CAN find your way back to the other side.
Don’t spend anymore time feeling distant and alone – contact me today for your FREE initial session!
What do you think? Time to apply a little logic to those emotional challenges you’re facing?
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