Listen to me.

I know it’s difficult.

But if your relationship isn’t sexual?

You’re NOT romantic partners.

You’re “just friends.”

Of course a lot of you girls insist this isn’t so, because you’re all about emotional connection. But you can be emotionally connected with ANYONE.

Saying you’re in love?

It’s like a guy who is ONLY sexual.

He may call that love.

But he’s just using you.

Like you are using him emotionally.

In case you girls think I’m picking on you, I actually know this from experience. Not because my partner wasn’t interested in sex, but because I wasn’t interested.

For many years I was a sexual avoider.

My partner wished that I was interested.

She even got us to a sex therapist.

Trying to figure out what was wrong..

The sex therapist thought it was because I was addicted to pornography. She was correct about the addicted part, but wrong that it was the cause.

The REAL reason I didn’t desire sex?

I had a major fear of intimacy.

I couldn’t connect as a lover.

I only knew how to be friends.

We went to another counselor one time, and he said we had a very unique problem. Most couples have a great sex life, but they don’t LIKE each other.

He said, “You two are good friends.”

“You like doing things together.”

“You are good companions.”

“You just lack intimacy, that’s all.”

As my partner put it to me once, we were really just roommates. We shared a place, and shared the chores, and shared the kids that were born.

Finally I had to face myself.

Face my fear on intimacy.

Any of this sounding like you?

If so let’s talk.

What do you think? Have you been fooling yourself that a lack of sex doesn’t matter, and that you still have a romantic relationship even though you’re just not interested?