In my past I was a typical emotionally unavailable guy.
I didn’t know how to connect with girls.
I didn’t know how to connect with myself.
I left my partner in a desert of distance.
This all changed for me when I realized I had lost her and started figuring out what had happened to me. That was a long time ago now and I really have changed.
There’s nothing I want more now.
I want to love and be loved.
I really feel the challenge you girls face.
The way guys so easily compartmentalize sex.
I can tell you in no uncertain terms though that once a guy “gets it” he really gets it. Then connecting with you on a deeper emotional level becomes a very fulfilling thing for him too.
But there is a dark side to all this connecting you do.
It’s something that is very hard for you to “get” also.
The best way for you to understand what I mean?
Just think about why being used by a guy for sex bothers you.
My guess is it bothers you because he isn’t really interested in what is important to YOU. He’s just using his interaction with you to get what’s important to HIM.
Well guess what girls?
You do the same thing.
When you emotionally connect without having sex him?
You’re using him for what is important to you too.
You’re not really thinking about what’s valuable to the guy you’re with because you don’t understand him. No matter how emotionally connective a guy is his connection is incomplete without physical intimacy too.
You don’t need to understand this.
You just need to know it.
Just like emotional connection is important for you?
Sexual fulfillment is important for him.
Society discourages sexual promiscuity and I also don’t recommend it. But the biggest tragedy today is how society accepts and even encourages you girls to be EMOTIONALLY promiscuous instead.
You do this all the time.
You seek out emotional connection with lots of guys.
Sometimes even when you’re married.
But society doesn’t consider you promiscuous.
After all you’re not seeking SEX right?
All you’re doing is “connecting.”
You girls can connect and connect and connect with guy after guy after guy and nobody thinks twice about it. How could you be using anybody when all your doing is “connecting” as you say.
The fact is you are using each guy.
You’re not giving him what is important to him.
You’re using him to get what’s important to you.
This makes you an emotional player.
Don’t you see?
I’m not saying you should sleep with every guy you connect with if you don’t share mutual attraction. I’m a big believer that you’ll get in trouble if you ignore your baseline attraction like that.
What I am saying though?
You should up your attention to what’s going on here.
When he emotionally connects with you?
He’s gonna desire physical intimacy as well.
If you leave him feeling empty like that?
You’re just emotionally playing him.
What do you think? Am I completely out to lunch on this one or do you “get it” now?