There is a popular opinion out there.

Meeting a partner?

It’s not the same as being with them.

Being in a relationship that is.

I wrote a while back about how dating coaches make lousy relationship coaches. The reason is because dating coaches teach you all about attraction.

Unfortunately?

Attraction is a very small part.

Yes it’s important.

But not enough to keep her.

A relationship is about connecting with a girl and going deeper with her. You share yourself and she shares herself and your affection grows the more you do so.

Getting to really know someone?

Dating has nothing to do with it.

You don’t need to go deep to date.

You just need to experience “chemistry.”

This is the reason every romantic movie you have ever seen always ends right when the relationship is just starting. Hollywood knows if they showed you the supposed “happily ever after” you’d ask them for your money back.

Why?

Because that part is dull.

It is nowhere near as exciting!

The fun stuff?

It comes from the mystery.

When you know nothing about your partner at all.

So I guess it is correct that dating skills really are different than relationship skills. You sure don’t need to know someone or go deep to experience a “thrill” do you?

In fact the more you know them?

The less you’re thrilled by them.

Why?

Because there’s just no more mystery.

Relationship begins when excitement ends.

I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m in the presence of a snake oil salesman. Come one! Come All! Come buy the dating advice I’m selling you!

Okay.

Maybe they’re right.

Dating really ISN’T about relationships.

But all that means is that you shouldn’t be dating then.

Not if you want a real connection.

For that just get to know her.

A real relationship will flow naturally from that!

What do you think? Are dating skills really different than relationship skills and if so then why are you dating when what you really should be doing is just getting to know her instead?