“You have a VERY enlightened view of romantic love.”
When she said this I might have visibly FLINCHED.
Because all I said was what I ALWAYS say here.
I said to her that love is valuing your partner for who they ARE and wanting to SHARE yourself with them as a result.
In other words it’s not primarily about feeling ATTRACTED.
At least not in the USUAL way.
That’s just reproductive BIOLOGY.
Designed to get some BABIES made.
What I’m ultimately attracted to is the PERSON my partner is.
But I guess this gives me high level GURU status anyway.
I’m expecting to start walking on water ANYTIME now!
I shared this story with another friend the next day who just smiled and AGREED with this first girl’s statement. This really is the rocket science of relationship technology apparently! I guess I need to PATENT it!
As I think back I remember ANOTHER occasion.
It was early on when I was STILL getting clear.
Understanding what polyamory means to ME.
I had been hooked up with a particular DATING COACH.
He had a pickup artist BACKGROUND.
He was an OPEN relationship guy.
But his overall approach was way too MANIPULATIVE for me.
Then I ran across another blogger who took a totally DIFFERENT approach to all this. He was so heart-based and wanted to be with girls who were CONSCIOUS what they were doing.
Not girls looking for plausible DENIABILITY.
Letting themselves be LED by someone else.
So they could ESCAPE personal responsibility.
I really RESONATED with him.
I was getting to know a NEW girl at the time.
I was trying to see if she and I would CLICK.
So I shared his perspective on polyamory with HER.
She said something SIMILAR.
“That guy is at a very HIGH LEVEL of self-development.”
She didn’t think MOST people could do it.
I continue to blog and share here and have conversations with a LOT of you girls. I have to admit what I’m pointing you to, does seem to be a level ABOVE your pay grade.
You’re STILL looking for a “one and only.”
No matter how IMPOSSIBLE that actually is to pull off.
You WANT to be “swept off you feet.”
For “Prince Charming” to COME ALONG.
So he can SAVE you and make you his WHOLE world forever.
Obviously it is not your FAULT when you’ve been programmed about all this from your EARLIEST childhood. As I said your BIOLOGY doesn’t help much either. So I suppose I shouldn’t expect much MORE from you.
Even the first girl I mentioned told me she KNEW all this.
But it still didn’t MATTER.
She couldn’t seem to let go of that HOPE.
Didn’t want to lose “that PART of her.”
After all, she “knows SOME couples.”
She THINKS it “works for them.”
So she’s HOLDING OUT.
Hoping it will work out for her TOO.
Far be it from me to try to CONVINCE you otherwise, if that’s really the way you want to go. Life is SHORT though and for me I’d rather be EXPERIENCING genuine love in my life than endlessly WAITING for it.
Hoping and praying that a MIRACLE will come along?
That just doesn’t make any SENSE to me.
So I’ll keep on ENJOYING love.
Love that ACTUALLY works.
Love that takes the REAL WORLD into account.
It’s NOT “happily ever after.”
I’m not anybody’s “world,” nor is anybody MINE.
But it’s pretty DARN GOOD just the same!
How about you? Are you going to keep holding out or will you take advantage of the relationship ENLIGHTENMENT that is just a romantic friendship away?