“He doesn’t put the toilet seat down!”
“I’ve never seen so many hair care products in my life!”
“Why does he squeeze the toothpaste tube?”
“Her cat uses my shoes to sharpen his teeth on.”
Living together is a very challenging thing because you are attempting to bring two very different people and sets of living styles into cohesion.
The pity is?
At the very beginning of your relationship?
Many of those nuisances were actually endearing.
They were things you found cute about her.
You may have even seen them as things you would ultimately change in him.
But once the dust clears on the honeymoon phase? Reality starts to set in and it’s not very pretty. You begin to realize you’ll have to LIVE with all these quirks and suddenly your love life starts looking dreary.
I know what you’re thinking.
Every relationship involves compromise.
That’s how you get along with anybody.
But you don’t have to live with everybody 24/7 do you?
Not unless of course you decide you’re “in love” with them!
Then for some crazy reason you think that means you need to bottle your love up so you can keep it. If it is good while you’re together here and there when you’re dating surely it will be even better if you are ALWAYS together right?
You are a funny creature.
The way you take a good thing?
Then ruin it by overdoing it.
This never works in any other area of life.
Why would you think it would work here?
The reason is those endorphines get firing in your brain and your intelligence goes out the window. You just don’t think clearly when you’re “in love.”
I’ve talked about the little things.
The ones that nag at you.
But they’re just the straw.
The one that will break the back of your camel?
But they aren’t the MAIN thing.
They are just the finishing touch actually.
They complete the work that’s done by all the BIG things you don’t notice first.
The things like how to run the household and who does chores and who takes the kids if you have them to soccer practice. These are all the real things that set you up for disaster ultimately.
Who keeps the books?
Who controls whoever is the big spender?
How do you make sure the rent is paid on time?
How much is her clothing budget anyway?
Since romantic love is built on positive experiences and tends to leave when negative experiences keep happening? You can pretty well guarantee your love is doomed if you live together and subject it to all of this.
But don’t live together?
Now it’s her bathroom.
Your toothpaste tube.
There is no cat to contend with!
If you blow your paycheque on clothes that doesn’t affect him at all.
If he buys too many toys your safety isn’t threatened when he does.
It’s only when you come to understand that romantic love is intended to be it’s own little oasis that everything changes. When you start to give it priority and stop messing with it by burying it in life’s problems you can truly enjoy it indefinitely.
That’s what I wish for you.
An untarnished love.
A rich love you can experience together.
One that keeps on nourishing the rest of your life.
Because it is a sanctuary you can both run away from your lives to.
What do you think? Does living together really make sense or is it better not to mix the good with the bad the way you’ve been thinking you ought to?