I read a great article this week.
It’s called 5 Key Crossroads in Any Long-Term Relationship.
What’s the author looking at?
How long term relationships change over time.
As the author points out “like it or not,” long-term relationships end up challenged because…well…they’re long-term! In the good old days people used to die earlier but now they simply do not.
So when are the key pressure points?
Interestingly enough, end of Year 1 is a big one.
Why is that?
Because that’s when all the real negotiating begins.
Now the “glow of oxytocin” from just being in love is no longer front and center, the reality of “everyday life rears its head and normal cracks in the relationship begin to show.”
Assuming you get through that?
The “seven-year itch” becomes your next adventure.
The “psychological deals” you cut don’t work anymore.
A real “restlessness” ensues.
At this point you might cut new deals, but usually you start relying on distractions. “Another child,” or a “job out of town,” or you “buy a boat and spend every weekend at the lake.”
This allows you to fake your way through.
At least until the kids start leaving.
Now you “stare at each other across the dining room table.”
Or a “midlife crisis” comes over you.
You would think as old age comes on, that’s the time you’d finally settle into things and enjoy yourselves. Instead, this is when many people go for broke, because it’s their last chance to have that fling before they can’t anymore!
The author asks, “Is divorce a bad thing?”
“Is staying together a virtue?”
I just found myself asking once again:
How about you? Do you still think there is a reason to configure your love life this way, or are you better to just go for Romantic Friendships and enjoy love without all the baggage?
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