The year is 1950.
Guys and girls hang out at the Drive-In on a Friday night.
They sip sodas at the diner Saturday afternoon.
Dates consist of taking in the shin dig over at the Macy’s farm.
Chaperoned by ma or pa.
Girls aren’t allowed out late at night.
Guys ask her dad if it’s okay to see her.
If you’re reading real closely I suspect you can see the total lack of cries of sexual harassment or assault, right?
Things like that just don’t happen.
The religious climate won’t allow it.
But that religious thing?
It got too much.
People wanted to break free.
And break free they did!
Enter the 1960s.
Flower power and Woodstock.
Love ins and peace outs.
Everywhere drugs abound.
Sex is now the order of the day and nobody even questions whether anybody wants to get it on together or not. Consent is always implied.
Guys aren’t seen as sexual predators.
Girls are the ones celebrating they are finally free.
No more slut shaming.
They can really get it on.
Mom and dad can go #*!@ themselves!
1970 arrives and things start to settle down.
The flower children have begun to multiply.
All that sex and rock n roll?
It created babies that need providing.
Once you have children to raise, you need to get that income thing happening at last. The days of irresponsible love changed and gave way to re-entering the establishment work machine.
But one thing DEFINITELY didn’t change.
That was the new rules.
They now remained.
Sex is no longer socially controlled.
The old religious rules are gone for good.
Voluntary consent is still the new rule of the day.
And things really haven’t changed since then.
The guys are still clear on all this too and understand consent is always implied. If you show up at their place, your unspoken word is you’re definitely DTF.
This is why so many guys now?
They are shocked if you don’t want sex with them.
What on earth are you doing coming home with them then?
If you’re not really game to have a good time?
Shouldn’t you still be home with dad?
Remember this isn’t just a guy thing.
When the 1960s happened, the GIRLS were ALL game for this too.
But recently it has become quite clear that a lot of you #metoo girls just didn’t get the memo. You missed the whole 1960s transition that put sex on the menu for good.
You want to change the dating game now.
You’re into explicit consents and contracts.
As if that’s how attraction actually works.
As if genuine seduction will still take place.
And romantic sparks will still fly that way.
If a guy has to ask your lawyer to review the paperwork to make sure everything is in order first, what is the likehood you are going to be turned on to anything other than making a deal?
Don’t get me wrong.
I wasn’t there to vote when the 1960s happened.
I really wish I was.
I would have been offering a balancing view.
Encourage people to take more time.
If you read my blog you know I’m the first one to tell the guys they should keep it in their pants. Take the time to get to know you first and let connection naturally evolve.
But I’m not naive.
I know how the world works.
Guys’ basic nature is NEVER going to change.
If you aren’t grown up enough to play with this fire?
You need to go back to your daddy’s place where it’s safe and warm.
I’m sure he’ll find you a nice boy one day.
One who’ll bring you lollipops and cotton candy too!
Okay maybe I’ve gone a bit hyperbole on you here but it’s really to make an important point. The 1950s are NOT coming back, so you need to take responsibility for your OWN actions now.
You can’t blame a guy for what YOU choose to do.
So you have to make your choices wisely.
If you don’t want to have sex don’t go to his place!
Don’t go anywhere that the two of you will be alone.
In today’s hookup culture, a guy will assume you want to have sex if you get alone with him.
But please, please don’t do this LEGAL thing.
Where policing love becomes the government’s job.
That is not going to serve you well.
You are just going to end up alone.
No guy with a brain is going to play along with you then.
What do you think? Do you want to go back to the 1950s mindset where you need daddy government to protect you or do you think you can take responsibility for your own actions now and be a big girl after all?
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