Really I should have titled this “Getting Laid Won’t Make You Happy.”
Because if you do much reading online, you would think that a guy’s life depends on his ability to easily “get some.”
There is a whole online community called the “Seduction Community,” whose sole purpose is to teach guys this “necessary” life skill.
I’ve said many times guys are sexual beings, so this shouldn’t surprise you.
It is really just the guys’ side of the proverbial sex/emotional connection divide.
You girls always guage your self-esteem and worth by whether a guy loves you.
You guys guage your self-esteem and worth by whether you can easily pick up girls.
And people wonder why we have problems with relationships!
Every time you turn around you’re using someone to try to meet your need to feel okay. When nobody but you can fill that need.
Everything else is just an attempt at external validation.
When your love life is on, you feel good about yourself.
When the girls are following you into your bed, you feel like a “real man.”
Recently a seduction community blogger I follow began discussing the ethics of paying money for sex and becoming a “sugar daddy” when you’re older.
A sugar daddy is usually an older guy who “sets up” a younger girl with an “arrangment.”
He gets her an apartment, pays her way through college…things like that.
Her part in the deal is she gives him sex.
And obviously he’s only going to do this for a “hottie.”
The first takes on a sugar daddy arrangement because she actually thinks she’s worth it.
The second because it helps her think she’s worth it. And maybe helps her get through school.
Let’s face it, in today’s tough economic times, it is understandable girls get tempted to stoop to these depths.
But all of this is just using people. It has nothing to do with your self esteem.
Or maybe it does…
This blogger writing about the sugar daddy phenomenon insists if you can’t have sex without paying for it, it will destroy your self esteem.
And actually I agree with that.
I do believe if you can’t get a girl to have sex with you without paying her for it, you definitely have a problem with self esteem.
But not because you should be able to “get laid” without paying for it.
I think this because if you are really a person with self esteem, girls will come to value you for who you are, and will naturally desire to express how they feel about you on every level.
They will want to make love with you, not just “have sex.”
But learning to pick up girls won’t get them to want to make love with you.
It will just get them to let you use them.
Using girls will not give you self-esteem.
Let me be perfectly clear.
Self-esteem is self love. It is an inside job.
It comes from recognizing your own personal worth, irrespective of what anyone outside you does.
If you feel a need for someone else to do something to make you feel good about yourself, then you’re not really feeling good about yourself at all.
You’re feeling good about the fact they did something to sooth the fact you don’t feel good about yourself.
So if you’re a guy who feels you need to learn to “get some” and then you’ll feel happy, think again.
Even the infamous pick up artist Roosh Valizadeh said once, that if you aren’t a happy person already, going out and “getting laid” isn’t going to change that.
If you’re a girl and you cannot be content without a guy in your life, getting a guy isn’t going to change that either.
Romantic love is not about getting something from someone else.
It is about sharing your value with someone else, because you value them as well.
If you’re confused about any of this and would like some help sorting through it all, that’s exactly what I help my clients do.
I can help you figure out what’s really going on, so you can finally get on track with your love life.
Contact me now and let’s get started!
How about you? Do you think getting a girlfriend will make you happy?
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